Stupid CoWorkers

CoWorker to customer on telephone about pork recall at our business: We only were recalling pork dated March 4th through March 16th.

Customer: Mine is dated April 2nd. Can I eat it?

Phone Support Guy: Yes sir. That’s not in our recall dates.

Customer: Are you 100% sure it is safe?

Phone Support Guy: Yes sir. That pork wasn’t part of our recall.

Customer: What are the dates again?

Phone Support Guy: March 4th through March 16th.

Customer: So, it won’t kill me?

Phone Support No sir, unless you plan on throwing it on the floor, jump on it a few times, then licking it up and eating it raw.

Stupid CoWorkers

Receptionist: Jim Smith, please come to the office, you have a telephone call.

CoWorker: You may want to speak up. Also, if he shows up, I’m getting out of here fast.

Receptionist: Why, don’t you like him?

CoWorker: No, it’s not that at all, it’s just that he’s been dead for over a year.

Stupid Customers

(I am a telephone operator for a large insurance company that has thousands of employees, so I need a last name to transfer people)

Caller: “Hi, can I be transferred to Mike?”

Me: “Yes, what is Mike’s last name?”

Caller: “I’m not sure, I just know his first name is Mike.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we have hundreds of Mike’s so I would need a last name.”

Caller: “Oh, I see. Well, I’ll just call him and get his last name, then.”

Me: “Okay, but if you have his direct number, why were you calling me in the first place?”

Caller: *hangs up*

Stupid Customers

Customer: “Hi, I need you to fax something for me.”

Me: “Okay, we actually have a self-serve fax machine right over here.”

(I point to it as I walk over to it from my side of the counter.)

Customer: “But I don’t know how to fax.”

Me: “That’s okay. I’ll show you.”

Customer: “But I’ve never used one of those before.”

Me: “That’s why I’m going to show you how to use it.”

Customer: “No, I can’t, I’m not good with computers.”

Me: “Then you’re in luck: this isn’t a computer. It’s actually just like using a telephone.”

Customer: “Here, you just do it for me.”

Me: “I actually can’t, due to our privacy policy, but I will walk you through it.”

Customer: “But I don’t know how to use it!”

Me: “That’s why I said I would show you…”


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