Stupid CoWorkers

FedEx comes in for our company’s delivery.

FedEx guy: Here are your packages.

Secretary: Are you looking at my twins? (referring to photo of twin daughters)

FedEx guy: Um uh ne erm ver, I got to go!

Stupid Customers

(I’m working in layby (AKA layaways) and dealing with the Christmas shopping rush.)

Customer: “Can I organize delivery for this item?”

Me: “We can, but we can’t guarantee it will arrive before Christmas because you didn’t pay it off by the 1st.”

Customer: “What? Are you trying to ruin Christmas? My grandchildren will cry and find out there is no Santa. Nobody told me I had to pay it off by then!”

Me: “I’m sorry, all the terms and conditions of the layby were printed on your receipt…” *I point it out on the receipt* “See, right here, above where you signed to say that accepted them.”

Customer: “But nobody TOLD me to read them!”

Stupid CoWorkers

Well you know how “they” say friends and business don’t mix? “They” couldn’t have been more right… i’ve had this job for around two years now and i am a hardworker. There are only three workers here including myself. The job itself isn’t demanding at all… we have a lot of downtime and nearly no rules as far as how we spend our downtime other than stay at work. My boss was promoted into his position only because the previous manager had found a better gig and moved up in the world… this new boss is in NO WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM, a leader. He has about nine years invested in the company and has no professionalism, mouth like a toilet, and can’t form sentences without using slang… AND whats even worse is that he types the way he speaks as well… (he asked me how to spell think…. THINK!!!) Anyway, after he had been moved up we needed to fill in the ranks from my previous manager leaving us. Knowing that a friend of mine was out of a job for a little while and in need of help i told him to come in for an interview. He put on his happy face and silverlined bullshit tongue and got the position. I thought to myself this is gonna be fun working with a friend, having someone on my “side” when times get boring around here… BOY was i wrong. We carpool to save gas, but got headaches and lateness in return… he always needs to get coffee, donuts, and 2 pack of cigarettes on the way to work… reading this you would think it can’t get worse, but it does… he was a hardworker at first, but the moment he got comfortable the true colors begin to show. He takes lunch breaks that could outlast a sniper out at war, he bitches and moans when he has to do his job, he proceeds to bitch and moan when asked to help with other duties, he gets aggressive over the phone with customers when they ask him things he doesn’t comprehend, starts arguements with people at a neighboring company (we share the building with a delivery service), i know he can read the sign that says NO SMOKING INDOORS, but i guess it doesn’t apply to him, the list goes on so i’ll keep this from being a novel… So i raise my cup of hot chocolate to toast to all the ungrateful scumbag friends that abuse the good nature of their so called friends and brush work off to friends thinking shit will always be cool… Grow the f**k up children… this may sound horrible, but i can’t wait til my friend gets fired and is out of my hair… P.S. at the least, carpooling and lateness ends here with the submitting of this RETARDED COWORKER story.

Stupid CoWorkers

We are on break at work and someone says something about men would be different if they had to go through delivery and one of the ladies there actually says “didn’t you see the paper the other night. A man did have a baby.” I said “what were you reading, the Globe.” And she gets offended. She also thinks you can get rid of warts by burying an old dish towel.