Stupid CoWorkers

Receptionist: Jim Smith, please come to the office, you have a telephone call.

CoWorker: You may want to speak up. Also, if he shows up, I’m getting out of here fast.

Receptionist: Why, don’t you like him?

CoWorker: No, it’s not that at all, it’s just that he’s been dead for over a year.

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Stupid Things Overheard

Client in high end salon to receptionist: I’ve got to ask you: how do you keep such a fabulous year-round tan?

Receptionist, giving blank stare: I’m half black.

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Stupid CoWorkers

“Let me start off by identifying the characters (not their real names):Mr. Diva [Dean]Piggy [Office Manager/Executive Asst.]Fat Ass [Administrative Asst. to the Dean]

During my first semester of graduate school, while pursuing my Masters, I decided to take up a part-time job as a Graduate Student Assistant in one of the depts at a university in Northern California. When I first started the job, I had a cubicle all to myself and I thought things were going well. I enjoyed working with everyone (one of the reasons I remained for at least a year). I started out with $10/hr. and I thought it was adequate pay since I never worked before while in school and just wanted to be less financially dependent on my parents so I was cool with getting 10 bucks an hour.

Anyway, as I continued working in the position, they moved me to the Receptionist’s desk, so Fat Ass could have her own cubicle. My duties were to answer the phones and help out students as they came into the office while doing random things. Then Piggy, who is in charge of Fat Ass, started to assign me absurd tasks such as vaccuming Mr. Diva’s office, cleaning vases in the office’s kitchen, and dusting bookshelves. At one point there was a student assistant in the same position as me, who was an undergrad but was getting paid more than me, even though I was there longer. This student assistant, Ariel, would tell Fat Ass “no” when asked to vaccum. Ariel said she was embarrassed that she had to vacuum because she was better than that. I definitely agreed. Well, Ariel lasted 2 months…After Ariel left, they decided to hire another undergrad student assistant (Hope). Hope was also getting paid more than me, and Hope and I used to fume about Fat Ass and Piggy all the time. Piggy started to give us a list of tasks we had to get done by the end of each day as if we were in elementary school. On and off, Piggy and Fat Ass continued to ask us to clean Mr. Diva’s office because when Mr. Diva came back from his international trips, he didn’t like to see dust. What the hell did they think we were? JANITORS!? One day I volunteered to help Piggy with hanging pictures in Mr. Diva’s office, and Piggy told me that Mr. Diva specifically said he wanted everything to be at least 3 feet off the ground. All of a sudden, Mr. Diva became a f**kin’ interior designer overnight. Eventually, Hope had enough too of Piggy’s requests and quit.

I didn’t complain about the salary discrepancy until I was in the position for at least a year and my other coworkers in the office all knew how unhappy I was. My coworkers also didn’t like Piggy and Fat Ass and thought they would always go on a power trip and one of my coworkers pointed out that I was one of the few who have remained in that position for more than a semester. I was pissed with the whole salary discrepancy because here I was about to get my Masters degree and have been in the position longer than all the previous student assistants but getting paid less. At the same time, they were asking me to wash dishes, vaccum, and cleaning the storage room while doing my regular office tasks. My goal wasn’t to be an office bitch and if I had wanted to, then I would have applied to be an office bitch. My coworkers tried to help me to get a raise by giving Piggy and Fat Ass hints, but they weren’t too concerned. I even told Fat Ass directly that I wanted a raise.

Having spent a year in the position, I submitted my resignation letter after Hope quit, basically telling them that I was moving on and I was worth more than 10 f**kin’ bucks an hour. Then Fat Ass and Piggy tried to get me to stay by constantly fawning me. Fatt Ass even had the audacity to ask one of my coworkers why I was leaving and my coworker told her directly that I wasn’t happy with the pay and maybe they should give me one.

After leaving, I continued to keep in contact with several of my former coworkers in the other departments, and they passed on the word to Fat Ass and Piggy that I found a job which almost pays twice as much as my previous crappy hourly wage…while I get a lot of downtime to work on my thesis at work. I feel sorry for all those who would have to eventually cater to Mr. Diva and his two sidekicks. My advice: If you’re ever caught in a position like this, you too should tell them to kiss your ass goodbye”

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