Stupid Customers

Client: Hi. I’m just calling to see what size you made the new releases

poster you just sent me?

Me: I made it 30 x 40, as requested.

Client: Welllllllll, the proof I just received isn’t 30 x 40. It’s only 7 inches


Me: Really? That’s odd. wrong> In which program did you open the file I sent you?

Client: Adobe (meaning Acrobat)

Me: Hmmm….and Acrobat says that it’s 7 inches wide?

Client: Well, I think so. I don’t know. I just held a ruler up to my screen

and it was only 7 inches wide.

Stupid Customers

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “My iPhone doesn’t work, and those dumbasses in the phone department couldn’t help me.”

Me: “May I take a look?”

Customer: “Here it is. It won’t make phone calls.” *hands it to me*

Me: “Ma’am, this is an iPod Touch.”

Customer: “That’s exactly what that dumbass in the phone department told me. God, are all you people stupid?! iPods look like this!” *holds up an iPod Classic*

Me: “That’s an iPod Classic. These are the new touch screen ones. May I see the box it came in?”

Customer: “What? Here, fine.” *hands me the box*

Me: “Ma’am, can you read this to me please?”

(I flip the box to where the label clearly says iPod.)

Customer: “What, are you blind too?! It says iP-…oh. Oh! Well, don’t I feel like a b****.” *walks off*

Next custom

Stupid Customers

Me: “Okay, ma’am, just slide your card and either select credit or enter your PIN.”

Customer: “It says credit. This is a debit.”

Me: “I know, ma’am. Just enter your PIN for debit.”

Customer: “But it says credit!”

Me: “I know, just put in your PIN like on any debit machine.”

Customer: “But the button on the screen says credit!”

(Seeing no end to this conversation, I put my hand over the screen and block her view of it.)

Me: “Okay, now enter your PIN.”

(She does so, and not surprisingly her groceries are paid for.)

Stupid Family Members

My family gave my grandmother a laptop, and we were teaching her how to use it when she asked how to send an email to her sister in England. They had been sending postal mail to each other for decades, and she had heard that this “Er-Mail” thing was easier.

I pointed to the Outlook Express icon, and told her to put the mouse there. She picked up the computer mouse and placed it on the screen.

It was a long day.