Stupid CoWorkers

CoWorker #1: (On a diet trying to lose weight, but has a big piece of coworkers birthday cake in hand): Did someone over here call me? I thought someone call my name.

CoWorker #2 : No, that’s just your conscience speaking to you trying to stop you from eating that cake!

Stupid Customers

(I am a telephone operator for a large insurance company that has thousands of employees, so I need a last name to transfer people)

Caller: “Hi, can I be transferred to Mike?”

Me: “Yes, what is Mike’s last name?”

Caller: “I’m not sure, I just know his first name is Mike.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we have hundreds of Mike’s so I would need a last name.”

Caller: “Oh, I see. Well, I’ll just call him and get his last name, then.”

Me: “Okay, but if you have his direct number, why were you calling me in the first place?”

Caller: *hangs up*

Stupid Customers

(the is a phone conversation I had)

Manager calls me: “Hi, a customers just applied for a store card and she’d like to use it today. Please look it up and help her out?”

(After pulling up the application, I see that the name on the application does not match the name of the customer. I can’t say that for security reasons though)

Me: “I’m sorry to tell you the application was declined due to information not matching. Usually this means a typo somewhere. Could you have your customer try again, please?”

Manager: “Okay, she just tried it again. Did it go through this time?”

Me: “No, it is still saying that the information is not matching. You keep saying ‘she’, but on the application, it says ‘Mr.’. Is she applying jointly with someone?”

Manager: “I’ll ask.” *pause* “Okay, she says everything she does is in her late husband’s name, so that’s the social security number she’s using.”

Me: “Thank you. I’m not sure how her temperament is, so we’re going to have to be delicate about this. Could you very tactfully let her know that we not issue credit to dead people?”

Manager: *laughs* “Will do. Thank you!”

Stupid CoWorkers

CoWorker #1: She’s a Leslie.

CoWorker #2: Just because she wears a lot of plaid, doesn’t mean she’s a lesbian.

CoWorker #1: Her last name is Leeessssleeeeey.