Coworker from McDonalds

So I got trapped into working at McDonalds. I wanted something part time; I applied and got hired immediately… May turned into August and I was miserable!

So I started tripping at work a lot. Everyone was doing drugs and I liked tripping. There was this bulbous midwestern blonde; face like a pug and a cow could stand on those legs…

She got promoted to.. not manager; one step above drone. Immediately she comes into the kitchen and complains about how I’m doing everything lol. One drop of authority and she becomes a chubby Hitler.

Months pass; she wants to buy drugs from me. She texts me “You are a very handsome man” and something else stupid.. After being a monster to me, she thinks that I would reduce myself to spend more time near her than I was required?

Everyone has the right to be happy; but look in the mirror before you flirt with your betters. Some people should NOT be confidant…

Stupid Customer calls me fat

So, I am helping a customer load 30 40 pound bags of topsoil into her pickup. While doing this she is playing on her iphone. By the thirtieth bag I am sweating my ass off and out of breath. After I’m done I close her tailgate on her pickup and said “All done! Have a good day!”, but she does not say thank you, she give me this instead:

Customer: “You are pretty overweight aren’t you”

Me: “……”

Customer: “If you lose some of that fat, you would be less out of breath.”

Me: “Ummm, I have asthma, lady.”

Customer: *completely ignoring what I said* “That is the problem with your generation; your parents let you eat to much fatty foods instead of practicing a little restraint. Which is why there is so much child obesity these days.”

Me: “I’m 32 years old, and while I’ll admit I have some extra pounds, I would hardly consider myself obese, thank you. Also, it’s not the eating of fatty that makes me the way I am, but all the beer drinking I have to do after work each day to cope with situations such as this one.”

Customer: “oooookay. Have a nice evening”

Stupid Bosses

CoWorker: “Got the job. My last day will be December 28.”

Manager: “On the 28th? When do you begin your new job?”

CoWorker: “January 3rd.”

Manager: “Come on, work until the 2nd then”

CoWorker: “Screw you dude I ain’t working Christmas and New Years, you had to work ALL the holidays this year”

Manager: “If you work those days I’ll buy you some Burger King today”

Stupid CoWorkers

Coworker: Happy birthday! I hope you like the cake, we got it from your neighbor, you know, the the one who makes cakes.

Annoying coworker: No way! You got it from her, I can’t believe you did that!

(a few minutes later)

Annoying coworker: Why is my piece so big? Stop cutting the pieces so big! I want to take some home! It’s my cake!

Coworker: What? Are you serious? It’s for the office, and this is how we always cut the fucking cake.

Annoying coworker: Ugh! Whatever! It’s my birthday! Why can’t I get some cake to take home!

Coworker: Fine! I’ll wrap up the left overs. Jesus Christ!

(later that day)

Coworker: Here’s the rest of your cake.

Annoying coworker: I don’t want it anymore, I’m not going straight home after work, and I don’t want to carry that around.

Coworker, while walking away: Fucking bitch…