Stupid Customers

I work at a store that sells area rugs. Here was a phone call I had:

Me: “[Store], this is [name].”

Customer on Phone: “Hello? I have a question. Can you help me?”

Me: “Yes, what is your question?”

Customer on Phone: “I can’t get it to stay up!”

Me: “Umm,okay. What do you mean?”

Customer on Phone: “My area rug! It’s old & I love this rug, but recently I can’t get it to stay up. The…what are they called? Fibers? They are all crushed and won’t stay up!”

Me: “Oh, I see.”

Customer on Phone: “I have been vacuuming it on all the different settings. It’s not as stiff and thick as it used to be. No matter how hard I suck, it just won’t stay up!”

Me: *trying to stay composed* “Alright, well that does tend to happen with age. Rugs tend to get pile-crushing after long periods of heavy traffic.”

Customer on Phone: “So, you’re telling me I can’t get it up because it’s old?!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, that is exactly what I’m telling you.”

(I manage to keep it together for the rest of the conversation. However, my manager, who can hear the entire exchange, is cracking-up next to me the entire time)

Stupid CoWorkers

Female employee: Are you busy? Do you have a sec?

Male employee, distractedly: Sure, I have lots of secs. (looks up, realizes what he just said) Go away and come back and start this conversation over again, please.

Female employee: Excuse me, but do you have a moment?

Stupid Customers

Customer: “My wife and I were wondering if it would be okay to bring our chihuahua in while we eat?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but health department rules say we can’t allow any animals other than service animals in the restaurant.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. That’s no problem.”

(He leaves, then comes back in with his wife and a dog-shaped bulge underneath his shirt. My manager, who had overheard the conversation, comes to the register.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but it’s a violation of health code to have the dog in the restaurant.”

Customer: “What dog?”

(The dog then pokes his head out of the customer’s shirt.)

Customer: *stammering* “Well, uh, he’ll stay right here. He won’t get out. He’s very clean and has good manners!”

(A wet spot begins to appear on the man’s shirt.)

Customer: “Maybe I’ll just go through the the drive thru…”

Stupid Customers

Me: “Okay, ma’am, just slide your card and either select credit or enter your PIN.”

Customer: “It says credit. This is a debit.”

Me: “I know, ma’am. Just enter your PIN for debit.”

Customer: “But it says credit!”

Me: “I know, just put in your PIN like on any debit machine.”

Customer: “But the button on the screen says credit!”

(Seeing no end to this conversation, I put my hand over the screen and block her view of it.)

Me: “Okay, now enter your PIN.”

(She does so, and not surprisingly her groceries are paid for.)