Stupid CoWorkers

CoWorker to customer on telephone about pork recall at our business: We only were recalling pork dated March 4th through March 16th.

Customer: Mine is dated April 2nd. Can I eat it?

Phone Support Guy: Yes sir. That’s not in our recall dates.

Customer: Are you 100% sure it is safe?

Phone Support Guy: Yes sir. That pork wasn’t part of our recall.

Customer: What are the dates again?

Phone Support Guy: March 4th through March 16th.

Customer: So, it won’t kill me?

Phone Support No sir, unless you plan on throwing it on the floor, jump on it a few times, then licking it up and eating it raw.

Stupid CoWorkers

Female #1 in Company Lunch Room: Screaming: I’m toothless! I’m toothless! My bridge fell out. It fell under the table!

Female #2 to Female #3: I hope it was her front teeth.

Stupid CoWorkers

Male CoWorker #1: Yeah, I heard she’s a squatter.

Male CoWorker #2: Really, she doesn’t have a place to live?

Male CoWorker #1: No, she squats above the toilet seat when she goes to the restroom. It gets everywhere so HR is going to talk to her.

Male CoWorker #2: Damn dude, can you imagine what the bathroom in her house looks like?

Stupid CoWorkers

CoWorkers #1: Can you help me with this Word document? I want the layout to look horizontal instead of vertical.

CoWorkers #2: Okay, go into File, then Page Setup.

CoWorkers #1: Okay.

CoWorkers #2: You see where it says “Page Source”?

CoWorkers #1: Sure Do.

CoWorkers #2: Good, now do you see where it says “Orientation”? Make your choice.

CoWorkers #1: Gay or straight?