Stupid CoWorkers

Receptionist: Jim Smith, please come to the office, you have a telephone call.

CoWorker: You may want to speak up. Also, if he shows up, I’m getting out of here fast.

Receptionist: Why, don’t you like him?

CoWorker: No, it’s not that at all, it’s just that he’s been dead for over a year.

CoWorker #1: (On a diet trying to lose weight, but has a big piece of coworkers birthday cake in hand): Did someone over here call me? I thought someone call my name.

CoWorker #2 : No, that's just your conscience speaking to you trying to stop you from eating that cake!

CoWorker #1: Hey Jim, You're smart can you help me with something

CoWorker #2: Sure

CoWorker #1 (pulls out kid's math homework and a reads question from the math homework)

(I work at a food court in the mall. While I am sweeping the hardwood floors, some guy acting real weird tries to put his trash in the machine I use to clean the hardwood floors.)

Me: “Hey, wait! What are you doing?”

Weird Guy: “I'm putting my trash in the trash can”

Me: “No, this is a floor cleaner. The trash cans are over there.” (I point at them)

Weird Guy: “You sure? it looks just like a trash can!”

Me: (I just stare at this 4 wheeled floor machine that looks nothing like a trash can).....Ummmm

Weird Guy: “What does this thing do?”

Me: “It cleans the hard wood floors.”

Weird Guy: “Well, it looks just like a trash can!”

Me: “I’m sure it does.” (I start to walk away)

Weird Guy: “IT DOES!”