Welcome to Stupid CoWorkers! This website is to vent and laugh about the dumb people we have to work with everyday at our jobs. So, come back daily for a good chuckle. Also, please submit your own stories about the employers, employees, and co-workers at your job!!
02/07/10: Stupid Things Overheard
Attractive female employee: Hey Steve*, do you have something hard that I can suck on to keep me awake?
Steve*, after 15 second pause and in disbelief: Jane*, you really don't know how long I have been waiting for you to ask me that.
Attractive female employee, turning red: I meant did you have candy, like Jolly Ranchers or something.
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Steve*, after 15 second pause and in disbelief: Jane*, you really don't know how long I have been waiting for you to ask me that.
Attractive female employee, turning red: I meant did you have candy, like Jolly Ranchers or something.
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02/04/10: Stupid Customers
Me: “What type of internet do you have?”
Customer: “Internet Explorer.”
Me: “No, sorry, I meant what type of internet, like your ISP?”
Customer: “Internet.”
Me: “No, what type.”
Customer: “Uh…modem?”
Me: “What kind of modem?”
Customer: “Black.”
Me: “Is it plugged into a phone cable or a coaxial cable? Like a cable you’d plug into your TV.”
Customer: “It’s plugged in to…the wall.”
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Customer: “Internet Explorer.”
Me: “No, sorry, I meant what type of internet, like your ISP?”
Customer: “Internet.”
Me: “No, what type.”
Customer: “Uh…modem?”
Me: “What kind of modem?”
Customer: “Black.”
Me: “Is it plugged into a phone cable or a coaxial cable? Like a cable you’d plug into your TV.”
Customer: “It’s plugged in to…the wall.”
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02/03/10: Stupid CoWorkers
Prank by stupid co-workers
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02/01/10: Stupid Things Overheard
Dental assistant: What was the name of that movie? The one about Pearl Harbor? You know, the one where they bomb Pearl Harbor?
Dentist: Um, I think it was called Pearl Harbor.
Dental assistant: No, it was a romantic movie... Where they bomb Pearl Harbor.
Dentist: Yeah, it's called Pearl Harbor.
Dental assistant: Oh, yeah! Pearl Harbor!
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Dentist: Um, I think it was called Pearl Harbor.
Dental assistant: No, it was a romantic movie... Where they bomb Pearl Harbor.
Dentist: Yeah, it's called Pearl Harbor.
Dental assistant: Oh, yeah! Pearl Harbor!
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01/27/10: Stupid Customers
(A little boy is about to go off the high dive when I stop him. His grandmother, upset, approaches and questions me.)
Grandmother: “Why won’t you let my grandson swim?”
Me: “We don’t believe he is a strong enough swimmer to be safe in the deep end.”
Grandmother: “So can he just go off the high dive?”
Me: “No, if he went off the high dive, he would most likely drown.”
Grandmother: “Well, you are a lifeguard! Isn’t it your job to stop him from drowning? You are discriminating against my grandchildren! You lifeguards are just lazy!”
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Grandmother: “Why won’t you let my grandson swim?”
Me: “We don’t believe he is a strong enough swimmer to be safe in the deep end.”
Grandmother: “So can he just go off the high dive?”
Me: “No, if he went off the high dive, he would most likely drown.”
Grandmother: “Well, you are a lifeguard! Isn’t it your job to stop him from drowning? You are discriminating against my grandchildren! You lifeguards are just lazy!”
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01/23/10: Stupid CoWorkers
CSR on phone with customer: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't cover vehicles outside the United States.
(five minutes later)
CSR to coworker: I think I told the customer the wrong thing. Is Hawaii part of the United States?
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(five minutes later)
CSR to coworker: I think I told the customer the wrong thing. Is Hawaii part of the United States?
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01/19/10: Stupid Customers
Me: “Okay, ma’am, just slide your card and either select credit or enter your PIN.”
Customer: “It says credit. This is a debit.”
Me: “I know, ma’am. Just enter your PIN for debit.”
Customer: “But it says credit!”
Me: “I know, just put in your PIN like on any debit machine.”
Customer: “But the button on the screen says credit!”
(Seeing no end to this conversation, I put my hand over the screen and block her view of it.)
Me: “Okay, now enter your PIN.”
(She does so, and not surprisingly her groceries are paid for.)
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01/15/10: Stupid CoWorkers
Secretary: This photocopier is broken.
Office service staff: Why, what's it doing?
Secretary: Well, I tried to make a color copy, but it came out black and white.
Office service staff, looking at original: Um, your original is black and white.
Secretary: Yes, I know, I thought it would insert color onto it.
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Office service staff: Why, what's it doing?
Secretary: Well, I tried to make a color copy, but it came out black and white.
Office service staff, looking at original: Um, your original is black and white.
Secretary: Yes, I know, I thought it would insert color onto it.
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01/11/10: Stupid Customers
(I’m working in layby (AKA layaways) and dealing with the Christmas shopping rush.)
Customer: “Can I organize delivery for this item?”
Me: “We can, but we can’t guarantee it will arrive before Christmas because you didn’t pay it off by the 1st.”
Customer: “What? Are you trying to ruin Christmas? My grandchildren will cry and find out there is no Santa. Nobody told me I had to pay it off by then!”
Me: “I’m sorry, all the terms and conditions of the layby were printed on your receipt…” *I point it out on the receipt* “See, right here, above where you signed to say that accepted them.”
Customer: “But nobody TOLD me to read them!”
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Customer: “Can I organize delivery for this item?”
Me: “We can, but we can’t guarantee it will arrive before Christmas because you didn’t pay it off by the 1st.”
Customer: “What? Are you trying to ruin Christmas? My grandchildren will cry and find out there is no Santa. Nobody told me I had to pay it off by then!”
Me: “I’m sorry, all the terms and conditions of the layby were printed on your receipt…” *I point it out on the receipt* “See, right here, above where you signed to say that accepted them.”
Customer: “But nobody TOLD me to read them!”
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01/08/10: Stupid CoWorkers
Male cook: Fine, we'll spell it your way!
Female front desk agent: No, seriously! "Banana" is spelled b-a-n-a-n-a.
(later that day)
Female front desk agent to male front desk agent: Hey, how do you spell "banana"?
Male front desk agent: B-a-b...
Female front desk agent, cutting him off: Forget it.
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Female front desk agent: No, seriously! "Banana" is spelled b-a-n-a-n-a.
(later that day)
Female front desk agent to male front desk agent: Hey, how do you spell "banana"?
Male front desk agent: B-a-b...
Female front desk agent, cutting him off: Forget it.
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