Stupid Bosses

CoWorker: “Got the job. My last day will be December 28.”

Manager: “On the 28th? When do you begin your new job?”

CoWorker: “January 3rd.”

Manager: “Come on, work until the 2nd then”

CoWorker: “Screw you dude I ain’t working Christmas and New Years, you had to work ALL the holidays this year”

Manager: “If you work those days I’ll buy you some Burger King today”

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Stupid Customers

I work at a store that sells area rugs. Here was a phone call I had:

Me: “[Store], this is [name].”

Customer on Phone: “Hello? I have a question. Can you help me?”

Me: “Yes, what is your question?”

Customer on Phone: “I can’t get it to stay up!”

Me: “Umm,okay. What do you mean?”

Customer on Phone: “My area rug! It’s old & I love this rug, but recently I can’t get it to stay up. The…what are they called? Fibers? They are all crushed and won’t stay up!”

Me: “Oh, I see.”

Customer on Phone: “I have been vacuuming it on all the different settings. It’s not as stiff and thick as it used to be. No matter how hard I suck, it just won’t stay up!”

Me: *trying to stay composed* “Alright, well that does tend to happen with age. Rugs tend to get pile-crushing after long periods of heavy traffic.”

Customer on Phone: “So, you’re telling me I can’t get it up because it’s old?!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, that is exactly what I’m telling you.”

(I manage to keep it together for the rest of the conversation. However, my manager, who can hear the entire exchange, is cracking-up next to me the entire time)

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