Stupid Customers

Me: Ma’am, do you have a firewall?

Clueless caller: Yes, the chimney is to my left.

Me: No, no.. On your computer, is there a firewall?

Clueless: The computer is against a wall..

Me: Um. Oh, I know, do you have McAfee?

Clueless caller, excitedly: Yeah, yeah, I have that!

Me: Okay. Well, that’s a firewall.

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Stupid Things Overheard

Employee #1: So my car got hit in the parking lot yesterday.

Clueless employee: Yeah, I’ve gotten banged a few times in the parking lot.

Employee #2, choking on bagel: Cough, cough!

Clueless employee: Wow, are you okay?

Employee #2: Yeah, (coughs) I need to leave the room… fast.

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