Stupid Customers

(I’m work as a technical support agent for a satellite TV company. I get a call where I hear a baby screaming in the background.)

Me: “Thank you for calling Technical Support. How are you doing this evening?”

Customer: “Hello? Yes? I need to speak to someone in the technical department.”

Me: “Yes ma’am, this is the technical department, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I’m babysitting for a woman, and she has a one year old. I’ve never actually babysat a baby before, and I can’t figure out how to get the diaper off so I can change him! These things have some sort of electronic lock or something on them right so the baby can’t take them off?”

Me: “Ma’am, this is customer support for satellite television, not a child care line.”

Customer: “But you are a technical guy right?! You should be able to help me out! Is there somewhere I can put a code in or something? Come on!”

Me: “Ma’am, again I apologize, but this is a technical support line for satellite television. I really can’t help you.”

Customer: “Please, I’m begging you! I want to get paid for this job! if I don’t change his diaper and he gets a rash or something, I’m going to be in big trouble!”

Me: “Have you tried peeling back the two little tapes on the front of the diaper?”

(I hear the customer pause for a second, and then I hear the tell tale ripping noise of the diaper tapes being peeled away.)

Customer: “Wow! You’re a genius! It came right off! Did you press a little button or something on your end?”

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Stupid Customers

(I hear glass shattering from the back of the store, near the wine department. As I head to the source of the sound, I hear a second shatter and see a small child in a cart reaching for a third wine bottle to pull off the rack. There’s no sign of a parent around.)

Me: “Stop that!”

(I grab the cart and pull it away from the wine racks. Suddenly, the absent parent shows up.)

Customer: “How dare you touch that cart! My child is in that cart! How dare you touch my child without my permission!”

Me: “Ma’am, your child has broken 2 bottles of wine and was about to break a third bottle. I just saved you another $12.99.”

Customer: “Saved me? You’re the one trying to kidnap my child!”

Me: “Ma’am, you already owe me $26 for what happened when you were not watching your own child.”

Customer: “If you’re going to charge me money for bringing my child into the store, I should just let you take him!”

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Stupid CoWorkers

This lady is the most unprofessional person that I have ever worked for in my entire life!

This woman is the VP of HR but yet she acts like she should be working for People magazine as a gossip columnist.

This woman will take her entire team to lunch and will reveal very confidential information in a public setting—she will tell about people’s medical information, marriage issues, sexual preferences, etc.

No subject is off limits! She will always start the conversation with..this information is confidential…I am only telling you about this because you are a part of HR. None of the information is relevant to our jobs….I mean seriously…did we need to know that you fired the person because you suspected he had a personality disorder! Did we need to know that a person resigned because they were having marriage issues and their child was a drug addict! Or about how someone’s husband divorced her because he was gay!

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Stupid Bosses

I don’t even know where to begin.

My company applies for government grants that deal with health care. My boss claims he does this because he has strong feelings about this and is dedicated to improving health care, etc., stuff like that.

Every time a grant is passed, he gives himself a 40K raise. He’s up to 180K a year, when six months ago he was at 100. Meanwhile, not one employee here has gotten a raise (while strategically not giving anyone a formal job description so that way nobody can say no to his whims).

Not one of our projects have actually been produced. Every time we attempt to move forward, he deftly stops it by introducing another idea in which everything we’ve been working on is scrapped (sometimes months worth), and he claims it’s because he wants absolute perfection. His ideas are changed on whim, you can tell he walks into meetings without reading the emails that lead up to it, and he loves to remind everybody (in any way possible) that he is the boss- yet he refuses to make decisions (or any other real ‘boss’ responsibilities) on anything and tries to pass off all of the tough choices on everybody else (making his employees ‘vote’ for things as a general consensus when the decision in question has nothing to do with us, nor do we care…). Pretty much, he loves being a boss in title only, and is pretty useless otherwise.

Reminds me of a bratty, only child who’s socially inhibited.

By now we’re all suspicious- it’s so obvious he doesn’t give a crap about health care and his ideas are so ridiculous, he either doesn’t have any logic at all or he just.. doesn’t care as long as the grants keep coming. Can I report this to someone? This is our tax money that’s paying him…

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