Stupid Customers

(I work at an asthma and allergy specialists office, and a mom called me 5 minutes to 5:00 pm on a Friday. We were getting ready to close for the weekend.)

Me: “Thank you for calling ****, my name is ****, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I need to bring my son in…”

Me: “Ma’am, we close our office at 5:00pm, and we don’t work weekends. Would you like to talk to the nurse?”

Caller: “No, he needs to see a doctor right now!”

Me: “Well, we have our doctor on call – you’re more than welcome to call him. He can answer your questions and help with anything–”

Caller: “Do you speak English?! I just told you that my son needs to be seen right now! He’s had this cough since Monday, and he hasn’t been breathing right since he got it!”

Me: “Well, it seems that if he’s been that bad since Monday, you would have brought him in then to be seen, or even Tuesday, and not wait until the weekend to call…”

Caller: “I was really busy this week! I had an appointment at the salon almost every day after work to get my hair done, my nails…. I just didn’t have time! I have time today because the stylist just called me; she had an emergency and had to re-schedule.”

Me: “Ma’am, right now our office is closed. Please take your son to the emergency room, as it seems like he needs to be seen immediately to have that cough taken care of.”

Caller: *very agitated* “If I take him to the ER, that’s a $100.00 copay! That would eat into my salon funds!”

Me: “…”

Stupid CoWorkers

Boss: Are we not paying you enough, that you have to come in wearing those shoes?

Cute female receptionist: What’s wrong with my shoes?

Boss: They’re covered in scuff marks.

Cute female receptionist: Stop being so superficial! And they’re not scuff marks, it’s pigeon crap.

Stupid Bosses

So I recently (a few weeks ago) started a job at a popular, healthy fast food restaurant – but it shall remain unnamed for this site. When I first started I’ll admit I wasn’t very ‘fast’ – who is, when they don’t know what they’re doing!?

In any case, they were desperate for another worker and I started work there at a time when the boss was having to take over for another store – so I never received official training. In any case, after just three weeks I’m pretty much completely programmed, despite the fact that, unlike the other employees, I haven’t gotten proper training like she said she’d provide me!…

Stupid Things Overheard

Client in high end salon to receptionist: I’ve got to ask you: how do you keep such a fabulous year-round tan?

Receptionist, giving blank stare: I’m half black.