Me: “Thank you for calling [company] support, can I have your employee ID number, please?”
Caller: “Yeah, can you put me on hold?”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Caller: “I called before and complained about the awful hold music you guys use. I want to see if you changed it.”
Me: “Hold on just a minute.”
(I put the caller on hold for a minute.)
Me: “Hello, are you still there ma’am?”
Caller: “Yeah, I’m here.”
Me: “So is the hold music any less awful?”
Caller: “No, not really. Thanks.” *click*
Coworker #1: He doesn’t know? I know! How can he not know?
Coworker #2: You know?
Coworker #1: Well, I don’t know… but I know.
Coworker #2: He doesn’t know? You know but he doesn’t know? Deep down inside he does know? it’s such a puzzle!
Guest: “How much for one of your hotel rooms?”
Me: *gives price*
Guest: “How about if I only pay [another price]?”
Me: “Sorry sir, I can’t do that. We’re almost sold out and I can’t reduce room rates when we’re almost sold out.”
Guest: “Do you really think you’re going to sell this room anytime tonight?”
Me: “Yes, I will. I’m the only hotel in the area with rooms left and other hotels are sending their overflow guests to me. I’ll sell this room in the next half hour.”
Guest: “Oh come on!”
Me: “Plus there’s a concert tonight and I’m getting a lot of concert go’ers coming in to get a room.”
Guest: “But the concert is over! I just came from the concert myself!”
Me: “And here you are!”
Older gentleman with thick Slavic accent, leaning over counter towards male cashier: Oh, those are niiice pants.
Cashier, cheeks reddening: Um, excuse me?
Older gentleman: I don’t speak English so good. I am European. Your trousers, they are good. How much?