Cubicle Girl: I heard she lost custody because she injected her kid with Botox for all those beauty pageants she attends.
Cubicle Guy: What? Botox? I bet her daughter didn’t look surprised at all.
Stupid Bosses
CoWorker: “Got the job. My last day will be December 28.”
Manager: “On the 28th? When do you begin your new job?”
CoWorker: “January 3rd.”
Manager: “Come on, work until the 2nd then”
CoWorker: “Screw you dude I ain’t working Christmas and New Years, you had to work ALL the holidays this year”
Manager: “If you work those days I’ll buy you some Burger King today”
Stupid CoWorkers
CoWorker #1: I’ve found a office with super cheap rent for my StartUp.
CoWorker #2: If the view is shit and they don’t have free cookies keep looking!
Stupid CoWorkers
FedEx comes in for our company’s delivery.
FedEx guy: Here are your packages.
Secretary: Are you looking at my twins? (referring to photo of twin daughters)
FedEx guy: Um uh ne erm ver, I got to go!