Stupid Customers

One day a customer called complaining that he just received his computer, but it won’t turn on. When he first pushed the power button, the screen flashed and then everything died.

I couldn’t do much over the phone, so I went to the customer’s office. It was plugged in, everything was hooked up ok, but, sure enough, it refused to turn on. I decided to take it back and promised to deliver a new one as soon as possible. But when I went to pick it up, I couldn’t.

Fearful of thieves, the man had fired some 24 inch bolts straight through the box, through the hard drive, motherboard, everything, locking it to his desk.

“Oh,” he said, “I thought it was just the TV part that was important. Will my warranty cover this?”

Stupid Students

Picture it … American History. 8th Grade. We’re discussing, oh, I don’t know, maybe World War I. Out of the blue, a girl raises her hand and asks our teacher (who, in turn, simply stared at her like she had lobsters crawling out of her ears), “Are there 49 states in America, or 51?” Amid the general disbelief in the room, she explained her reason for asking: “Because if Puerto Rico is a state, then there’s 51, right? But if it’s not, then I guess there are only 49. Right?”

Stupid Students

In the English Composition class we arguing whether marijuana should be legalized. And a blonde in the class said if they legalize they would make it more accessible.

Stupid CoWorkers

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red. She responded, appalled, “What on earth are blind people doing DRIVING???”