Stupid Laws

Stupid Laws in Cerritos California…

All dog “waste” must be removed from any yard within seven days.

Stupid Laws in Chico California…

One must obtain a permit from the city to throw hay in a cesspool.

It is illegal to own a green or smelly animal hide.

Bowling on the sidewalk is illegal.

Driving a herd of cattle down a street is against the law.

Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine.

Stupid Laws in Dana Point California…

One may not use one’s own restroom if the window is open.

Stupid Criminals

BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — A scofflaw who came to be known as the gin and tonic bandit went to the same restaurant each Wednesday, ordered two drinks and a rib-eye steak, then skipped out on his $25.96 bill.

His dining, drinking and dashing days may be over.

Police arrested the man on preliminary charges of theft and resisting law enforcement. He was being held early Friday at the Monroe County Jail on $2,000 bond, authorities said.

Each Wednesday night for four weeks running, the same man came into the same O’Charley’s restaurant and ordered the two drinks and the steak, restaurant manager Teresa Tolbert told police.

At the end of each meal, the wait staff would present him with his bill for $25.96, and he would excuse himself to use the restroom, then skip out without paying.

The man appeared a fifth time Wednesday night, but the restaurant was ready for him, police said.

When his server presented the bill, he again claimed he needed to use the bathroom. But when he walked out of the restaurant, four employees were waiting for him. They confronted him about the unpaid bill, which he offered to pay with a check, police said.

After Tolbert told him the restaurant didn’t accept checks, the man “got nervous and ran,” according to the police report.

Officer Randy Gehlhausen caught up with the man as he was trying to open his car door. The diner struggled with Gehlhausen, who wrestled him to the ground and handcuffed him.

Stupid CoWorkers

Hello, i work for an outsourced call centre that deals with a large international client and their call centres. Im studying at uni and am amazed at how many ibeciles surround me.

1. In my office: In my office i have my boss who has no idea how to spell, construct an effective sentence or lie straight in bed. I asked him three weeks ago about a number of issues relating to my contract and i have only recieved a reply TONIGHT!! But then what can i say when the company decides to employ an ex-cop as the area head and a swedish masseuse as our learning and development leader. . . and to all of my other superiors i say “INVEST IN A DICTIONARY”, hey i know that im not perfect- but yyoud assume that when you get a payrise the letter doesnt have 20 spelling mistakes- including the street address!!

2. AND NOW TO THE OTHERS, on a daily basis i have to deal with and fix all of the screw ups that ‘the client’ (i.e. the people who the outsourced centre works for) that ‘the client’s own staff manage to do…i asked one of them the other night whether they recorded or measured their performance in any way- OF COURSE NOT! so on a daily basis i deal with customers and the screw ups that the other office (in the south) have managed to create to amuse my day… argh- i mean to say that it is a pretty simple job, HOW CAN THEY F**K UP SO OFTEN???

Just think of this- record for the week- 3 hours of an eight hour shift fixing up a customer’s account after a southern screw-up. . .and they get better benefits for th crap that they produce”

Stupid Customers

A call to the technical support line for a cell phone company:

Customer: “The numbers on my caller ID are going blurry!”

Tech Support: “Sir, I think you might just need a new battery.”

Customer: “Well, can you tell me how to change it?”

Tech Support: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “How am I supposed to change this battery?”

Tech Support: “Sir, all you need to do is replace the battery. It’s not that hard.”

Customer: “Can you send out a repairman to do it for me?”

What? He had to be kidding.

Tech Support: “We normally don’t send out repairmen to change batteries.”

Customer: “What? I can’t change this battery by myself!”

After a few more minutes of angry yelling on his part that we would not be sending a repairman to go change the battery for him, he got on the phone with supervisor and demanded I be fired.

Needless to say, I wasn’t.