Stupid Customers

Me: “Hey there, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to know the 9 types of lemonade you have.”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, we only have ONE kind of lemonade and we’re out of it.”

Customer: “Okay, but what are your 9 different types?”

Me: “Sir, I don’t think you understand. We only have one kind of lemonade and we’re currently out of it.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(The customer walks away, only to come back five minutes later.)

Customer: “If I ask you the same question from earlier, you’re still going to give me the same answer, aren’t you?”

Me: “Yes…”

VN:F [1.9.7_1111]
Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

Stupid Bosses

I don’t even know where to begin.

My company applies for government grants that deal with health care. My boss claims he does this because he has strong feelings about this and is dedicated to improving health care, etc., stuff like that.

Every time a grant is passed, he gives himself a 40K raise. He’s up to 180K a year, when six months ago he was at 100. Meanwhile, not one employee here has gotten a raise (while strategically not giving anyone a formal job description so that way nobody can say no to his whims).

Not one of our projects have actually been produced. Every time we attempt to move forward, he deftly stops it by introducing another idea in which everything we’ve been working on is scrapped (sometimes months worth), and he claims it’s because he wants absolute perfection. His ideas are changed on whim, you can tell he walks into meetings without reading the emails that lead up to it, and he loves to remind everybody (in any way possible) that he is the boss- yet he refuses to make decisions (or any other real ‘boss’ responsibilities) on anything and tries to pass off all of the tough choices on everybody else (making his employees ‘vote’ for things as a general consensus when the decision in question has nothing to do with us, nor do we care…). Pretty much, he loves being a boss in title only, and is pretty useless otherwise.

Reminds me of a bratty, only child who’s socially inhibited.

By now we’re all suspicious- it’s so obvious he doesn’t give a crap about health care and his ideas are so ridiculous, he either doesn’t have any logic at all or he just.. doesn’t care as long as the grants keep coming. Can I report this to someone? This is our tax money that’s paying him…

VN:F [1.9.7_1111]
Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

Stupid Bosses

What do you think about a boss (newly hired) who spends the day coloring, cutting, pasting, etc., instead of attending to the major amount of paperwork required to run a child care business. All the staff have complained to the executive in charge and not a thing is accomplished – we are stuck with a crazy woman who is dragging the company down. When asked a question, she talks in circles and runs around the subject until you just say forget it.

VN:F [1.9.7_1111]
Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

Stupid Students

A student dropped by the school’s computer lab and asked us if we could make lasers come out of the screen. He was very insistent about this being possible. I asked if he meant supermarket scanning lasers. He said no, the kind that damages your eyes, and also they move around. We were wondering if this was a clever engineering question, but finally he said his sister’s computer could do it. One of us realized he was talking about one of the Windows screen savers.

VN:F [1.9.7_1111]
Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)