Customer: “Do you guys still do that free tan on your birthday thing?”
Me: “Yes, we do!”
Customer: “Well, no one called me!”
Me: “Oh, we don’t actually call the clients.”
Customer: “How am I supposed to know when to come then?”
Me: “You just come in on your birthday.”
Customer: “Well, when is that?”
(A man claiming to be our hotel guest’s boss calls our front desk several times, claiming that the guest won’t return his calls. I ring the hotel guest to let her know the situation.)
Me: “Hello! I received a few phone calls from a Mr. *** asking you to call him back immediately.”
Hotel guest: “Oh, Mr. ***? I don’t know a Mr. ****.”
Me: “Oh, okay. I’m sorry to bother you. I will ask him to stop calling.”
Hotel guest: “Well, what was his name again?”
Me: “Mr. ***.”
Hotel guest: “Was he tall?”
Me: “Ma’am, he was on the phone.”
Hotel guest: “You didn’t notice if he was tall or not? That doesn’t help me at all.”
Me: “Very sorry, ma’am. I will try to get a better look at him next time he calls.”
Hotel guest: “Thank you so much dear!” *hangs up*
Head of technology development: I’m going to spend some time on Twitter. What do you call that? I’m going to twat?
Female employee: No, I don’t think that could possibly be right.
Once I got called to the office of a co-worker (let’s call him Joe User) to help him figure out his username (he knew his password).
* Me: “Your username is ‘Joe User’.”
* Him: “Unacceptable! How much am I supposed to remember? I can only remember a certain number of things.”
* Me: “Wouldn’t one of those things be your name?”
* Him: “I guess I’ll have to write it down.”
He proceeded to write his own name on a sticky note and attach it to his monitor.