Stupid Roommates

My freshman year in college, I had a roommate who was bright enough but had a tendency to speak before thinking. The first classic scenario from that year was when we had just moved in (there were 5 of us in a “suite”) and were discussing the fact that our college was very close to the state capital. “Wow,” the roomie says, “wouldn’t it be great if we had a war?” We looked at her blankly. “I mean, if we wanted to protest it would be SO convenient!”

The other memorable incident was a few months later. “What are you guys doing?” she said as she entered the room. “We were just talking about Jim Henson.” “Ohhhhh yeah, Jim Henson. Is he still dead?” Three of us burst out laughing while another roomie replied, “No, he’s back from the grave and touring with Elvis this summer.” She merely looked confused and left again.

Stupid CoWorkers

We are on break at work and someone says something about men would be different if they had to go through delivery and one of the ladies there actually says “didn’t you see the paper the other night. A man did have a baby.” I said “what were you reading, the Globe.” And she gets offended. She also thinks you can get rid of warts by burying an old dish towel.

Stupid CoWorkers

In the submarine force I have met many dumb people, but on my last ship, I met possibly the stupidest man alive. I realized this after watching the movie Schindlers list. after the movie, Dave Webb (known as dumb Dave) said, and I quote ” wouldn’t that suck if that really happened!” shortly thereafter my suspicions were confirmed when prior to arriving in Alaska, Dumb Dave asked ” Hey, Does anyone know the exchange rate in Alaska.” someone replied,” Yeah, It’s $2.00 to the bear claw.” and Dave asked him if he had any and he had any to spare and the other person said sure, no problem. Dave gave him $100.00 and the other person gave him back $50.00. Dave says “Hey these are not bear claws! Meanwhile everybody is in hysterics and Dave asks Why, so we go to let him off the hook and tell him that there is no exchange rate and he says “Really? What is Alaska a state or something? We say yes, not only a state but the largest in the US and he says “NO WAY!, I’m from Texas and I know for a fact that Texas is the largest!

Stupid Tech Support

Last week, I installed a computer for a co-worker. It was the very first computer she had ever used. She called me early the next morning and said her monitor was fuzzy looking and wanted to know if she needed to buy an antenna for it.

I told her no, it was cable ready.