Stupid Criminals

Courtesy of Seattle Times

CHEHALIS — A 35-year-old Onalaska man picked the wrong place and the wrong time to hide a container with marijuana in it.

Lewis County sheriff’s detectives in Chehalis say they arrested Eugenio Anthony Colon today at 11:25 a.m. after he was seen by detectives hiding the container under a bush in front of their office window.

Colon was charged with possession of marijuana under 40 grams.

He was arriving at the Lewis County Courthouse for a court matter. Much to his surprise, he was confronted by detectives in the courtroom while he was waiting his court appearance.

Colon admitted to hiding the marijuana and told detectives he had no idea he could be seen by them.

In an aside, Sheriff Steve Mansfield says he appreciates people who choose to break the law in front of his deputies.

Stupid CoWorkers

I have been working for the state of (stupidity) for 10 years. I have seen an enormous amount of ‘Enron’eous type of actions. This is one. Okay, I work in a regimented boot camp where I am a mid level manger, this is ran by my states military department. Our kids are called CADETS. Now here are some, very small idity bitty bit of what goes on here. We have an Alpha company and Bravo Company. A former employee of Bravo transfers to Alpha we will call him D. One of my employees comes to me and shows me 2 radios that he bought off of ‘D’. I look them over and asked him where ‘D’ got them, he tells me that ‘D’ bought them of the internet at e-bay. I asked him ‘then why do they have Alpha Company employee names on them?’ His face went white! I took the radios and photo copied them, ran the serial number with the supply section and yes they belong to the state! Hm. Most people would have at the very least been fired, oh but not this guy, his wife happens to be a department head in another department and the Assistant Director is very close to her :D. When all was said and done, I was the bad guy because I supposedly had a vengeance against ‘D’. You try to do the right thing and you get screwed. Funny thing is, no one every talked to me about the situation. It was just lost in space.

In another situation, our cadets helped the program director build his garage and helped the Bravo Company Director move to another house.

I have a thousand of these type of stories that would make a million bucks for me. But alas, no one wants to do anything because they would probably shut doors and this would hurt the kids. Unfortunately, the Enron type managers know this and it goes up to the highest levels in the Military Department. Anyone got job opening for an honest, Ethical Operations Specialist!

Stupid Salespeople

A friend and I visited a computer store in a mall. They had aisles of software and cabinets of hardware in the back. I was curious to know how much they charged for RAM, so we headed for the rear of the store.

Salesman: “May I help you, ladies?”

Me: “Sure. We’d like to see how much your RAM is.”

Salesman: (looking around uncertainly) “Let’s look over here. Is this for a Mac or PC?”

Me: “PC. I have an HP.”

Suddenly the salesman turns down a software aisle.

Salesman: “That sounds like a war game. It should be along in here if we have it.”

Me: “Uhhhhhhhh…we’re looking for RAM. You know, computer memory. Not software.”

Salesman: “Oh! Memory! That would be over in the children’s section.”

Stupid Customers

Customer: “Hi, I recently bought a computer, and I seem to be having problems.”

Tech Support: “What type of problems?”

Customer: “Nothing seems to be working at all.”

Tech Support: “Hmmm, what kind of computer is it?”

Customer: “[brand].”

Tech Support: “Actually, we don’t sell that brand of computer here.”

Customer: “I know, I bought it from a friend of mine.”

Tech Support: “May I ask why you are calling us for support?”

Customer: “Aren’t you a computer store?”

Tech Support: “Yes.”

Customer: “Well, I was in there yesterday.”

Tech Support: “And you bought something from us?”

Customer: “No, but you sell computers so you should fix them.”

Tech Support: “Did we sell your computer to you?”

Customer: “No.”

Tech Support: “Did we sell anything to you?”

Customer: “No.”

Tech Support: “Why should we be supporting something we didn’t sell you?”

Customer: “Well, who should I be calling?”

Tech Support: “Probably your friend, or the manufacturer of the computer.”

Customer: “You are not very much help, you know.”

Tech Support: “I am sorry but there is not much I can do for you, unless you would like to bring the computer in and pay a fee for fixing it.”

Customer: “Why should I have to pay for you to work on my computer?”

Tech Support: “Sir, I am hanging up now.”