Customer: “I’d like 50 Christmas stamps, please.”
Me: “What denomination?”
Customer: *befuddled* “Oh, my, has it come to this? Um, give me 22 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 6 of the Baptists.”
Stupid Customers
Customer: “I want a the #3 combo”
Me: “What kind of drink?”
Customer: “No drink.”
Me: “Is that all?”
Customer: “No, I also want a Diet Coke on the side.”
Stupid Customers
(I was helping a caller with programming their phone. We are nearing the end of this lengthy, multi-step process.)
Me: “Now, you’re going to enter your number with the area code.”
Customer: “Okay.”
Me:“After you enter your number, select OK.”
Customer: “Okay.”
Me: “At this point, you can keep selecting OK until you see EXIT.”
Customer: “Okay.”
Me: “After you press EXIT, the phone is going to power off by itself.”
Customer: “But it’s been off the whole time.”
Me: *speechless*
Stupid Customers
(I ring up Grand Theft Auto Vice City and looks at her 7 year old child.)
Me: “Ma’am, I’d like to advise you that this game is rated M for mature. It contains graphic vio–”
Customer: “Listen here, I know video games.”
Son: “Mommy I want it now!”
Me: “You don’t understand, it’s very–”
Customer: *yelling* “Are you going to sell me that game or not?!”
Me: “I will sell you the game, but you must understand that it’s not intended for children.”
Customer: “[Son] gets what he wants.”
(Three hours go by and I’m standing near the register. The same customer walks in looking exasperated.)
Customer: “I’d like to return this.”
Me: “Is there a problem with the disk? We can exchange the disk for free if there’s anything wrong with it.”
Customer: “No. It’s not that. I walked in on my son playing the game. I witnessed him stealing a car, driving up to a prostitute, having sex with her, and then running her over and then get out and collect the cash. When I asked him why he did this, he responded, ‘b**** ain’t gonna need that money, she’s dead!’”