We are on break at work and someone says something about men would be different if they had to go through delivery and one of the ladies there actually says “didn’t you see the paper the other night. A man did have a baby.” I said “what were you reading, the Globe.” And she gets offended. She also thinks you can get rid of warts by burying an old dish towel.
In the submarine force I have met many dumb people, but on my last ship, I met possibly the stupidest man alive. I realized this after watching the movie Schindlers list. after the movie, Dave Webb (known as dumb Dave) said, and I quote ” wouldn’t that suck if that really happened!” shortly thereafter my suspicions were confirmed when prior to arriving in Alaska, Dumb Dave asked ” Hey, Does anyone know the exchange rate in Alaska.” someone replied,” Yeah, It’s $2.00 to the bear claw.” and Dave asked him if he had any and he had any to spare and the other person said sure, no problem. Dave gave him $100.00 and the other person gave him back $50.00. Dave says “Hey these are not bear claws! Meanwhile everybody is in hysterics and Dave asks Why, so we go to let him off the hook and tell him that there is no exchange rate and he says “Really? What is Alaska a state or something? We say yes, not only a state but the largest in the US and he says “NO WAY!, I’m from Texas and I know for a fact that Texas is the largest!
I was working for Pizza Hut. One day the Head Manager came in early open the store. He came in and set up the store, opened the safe, and the locked the door and left. He left a note for the manager that would be there that day. “S- The safe is open . . .” He left this note taped to the counter so you could read it from the front window.
I work in the publicity department of a publishing house specializing in illustrated books, and we receive many requests for free review copies. Recently we received a letter from an inmate requesting a book for the prison library. Apparently, he had been sentenced to 10 years and enjoyed drawing. While debating the cost of humanitarianism against sending an expensive book to a prisoner, a co-worker from another department, who had been listening to the discussion, asked, “What’s he in for? “He’s a cat burglar,” I replied. Her face darkened, and she blurted, “Don’t send it to him he’s lying.” “How do you know?” I asked. “You don’t get 10 years for stealing cats,” she said.
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