(I’m a liquor store owner. A teenager grabs a couple of beer bottles and proceeds to the counter to purchase the beer.)

Me: “May I see your ID?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “I don’t sell alcohol to people without IDs.”

Customer: “But I’m 18! I’m allowed to buy beer!”

Me: “Sorry, but its the law. No ID, no beer.”

Customer: “F*** you! F*** this government! Can’t a man just buy and enjoy their beer anymore?”

Me: “Look, all you have to do is flash your ID and you can buy all the beer you want. Now, can I see your d*** ID?”

Customer: “No, you listen to me! I didn’t drive all the way here to be treated like this. Back then, trust was enough to keep things rolling, but now everyone thinks everyone is a liar! This country is a F***ING dump! Do I look 12 to you? I’m telling you, I’m 18 and I’m allowed to buy beer, and…” *rants on and on*

Me: “Get out of my store.”

Customer: “Excuse me?!”

Me: “Oh I’m sorry. Where are my manners? Get the F*** out of my store!”

Customer: “I’m never coming here again!”

Me: “Now you’re getting the idea!”

A call to the technical support line for a cell phone company:

Customer: “The numbers on my caller ID are going blurry!”

Tech Support: “Sir, I think you might just need a new battery.”

Customer: “Well, can you tell me how to change it?”

Tech Support: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “How am I supposed to change this battery?”

Tech Support: “Sir, all you need to do is replace the battery. It’s not that hard.”

Customer: “Can you send out a repairman to do it for me?”

What? He had to be kidding.

Tech Support: “We normally don’t send out repairmen to change batteries.”

Customer: “What? I can’t change this battery by myself!”

After a few more minutes of angry yelling on his part that we would not be sending a repairman to go change the battery for him, he got on the phone with supervisor and demanded I be fired.

Needless to say, I wasn’t.

A call to the technical support line for a cell phone company:

Customer: “The numbers on my caller ID are going blurry!”

Tech Support: “Sir, I think you might just need a new battery.”

Customer: “Well, can you tell me how to change it?”

Tech Support: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “How am I supposed to change this battery?”

Tech Support: “Sir, all you need to do is replace the battery. It’s not that hard.”

Customer: “Can you send out a repairman to do it for me?”

What? He had to be kidding.

Tech Support: “We normally don’t send out repairmen to change batteries.”

Customer: “What? I can’t change this battery by myself!”

After a few more minutes of angry yelling on his part that we would not be sending a repairman to go change the battery for him, he got on the phone with supervisor and demanded I be fired.

Needless to say, I wasn’t.