Stupid Tech Support

My boyfriend and I were sitting in my dorm room, when there was a power surge, causing my computer to reboot. Unfortunately, it never got very far and popped up an error message about a missing file. Panicking, I reboot again, and the same thing happened. Foolishly, I decided to call my computer’s tech support line, and after struggling with their automated system, I finally got through to someone.

Tech Support: “Thank you for calling tech support. How may I help you?”

Me: “Yeah, um, I just had a power surge in my dorm room, and my computer won’t reboot. It’s giving me the error message: [error message]”

Tech Support: “Have you tried rebooting?”

Me: “Yeah. Want me to try again?”

Tech Support: “Yes, go ahead. Tell me when Windows comes up.”

Me: “Ok…it’s giving me the same error message. It’s not even getting into Windows.”

Tech Support: “Ok, let’s try rebooting again, but this time, hold the button down for longer.”

Me: “Er…how much longer?”

Tech Support: “About five seconds.”

Me: “All right. Holding it down now…ok, it’s rebooting.”

Tech Support: “Good. Tell me when Windows comes up.”

Me: “Same error.”

Tech Support: “Ok. Let’s try a hard reboot. Turn your computer all the way off, then unplug the power cable.”

Me: (??) “All right, it’s out.”

Tech Support: “Ok, now hold down your power button and plug it back in. But don’t let go of the power button yet.”

Me: “Er. Ok. Tell me when to let go.”

Tech Support: “Ok, let go. Tell me when Windows comes up.”

Me: “Same error message. Windows isn’t coming up.”

Tech Support: “Ok, let’s try looking at your BIOS.”

Me: “All right.”

Tech Support: “Reboot your computer, and when it’s coming up, hit F1 as many times as you can.”

Me: “Can’t I just hit it once?”

Tech Support: “No, your computer should start beeping. I want to make sure it beeps.”

Me: “All right, it beeped. BIOS came up a while ago.”

Tech Support: “Ok, let’s walk through some things….”

He proceeded to do nothing more than confirm there was nothing wrong with my BIOS. He had me reboot again, and, of course, I got the same error message.

Tech Support: “Ok, let’s try bios one more time.”

Me: “All right.”

Tech Support: “Now, when it’s rebooting, I want you to hit the F1 key as many times as you can. It has to beep for this to work.”

Me: “I really don’t think my computer ‘beeping’ has anything to do with the problem.”

Tech Support: “I think I know a little more about computers than you do, ma’am.”

Me: “All right, fine, I’m hitting it. My computer is beeping.”

Tech Support: “I don’t believe you.”

Me: “…Excuse me?”

Tech Support: “I think you’re lying. I need you to hit it as many times as you can. This is very important.”

Finally, I gave up on the guy and made my boyfriend finish the call. About half a minute into the call, my boyfriend gets a really funny look on his face and ejects the floppy disk that was in the drive. He rebooted it, and it worked fine.

I suppose this doubles as a stupid user story too, but you’d think a tech support person would have checked for that early on, instead all the other dumb things he had me do.

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Stupid CoWorkers

So, this chick that works in Tech Support with us, let’s call her Elaine, is doing training, and telling all the students what to do in case of a “one-zero” error. We pulled her aside to explain that that actually said I/O error (as in Input/Output) but she continued on with her teaching, explaining that it had to be a “one-zero” error, since computers communicate in binary code, so everything had to be either a 1 or a 0. I think its obvious who “1” and who is a “zero.” Duh!

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