Me: “Thank you for calling ****. Can I help you?”
Customer: “Yes, I ordered some food and I need a refund.”
Me: “Of course – can you please explain what the matter with your food was?”
Customer: “Well, I drove it home and put it on the counter. My husband asked me to help him rake up some leaves. When I got back in, the dog had gotten up on the counter and eaten everything.”
Me: “You want me to replace the food your dog ate?”
Customer: “Yes.”
Me: “…”