Woman at office party: She’s got that psychological syndrome where she uses sex to get what she wants from men… What do they call that again?
Man: A whore.
Stupid Customers
(A woman walks into the coffee shop and orders a latte with “sexy” foam. I make what I thought was a latte with really “sexy” foam.)
Customer: “F***! This isn’t right. I want it with really sexy foam.”
Me: “Okay…”
(I make her another, with lots of really thick foam.)
Customer: “No, no! Sexy foam, really sexy foam!”
Me: “Okay, so less?”
Customer: “No, you know… sexy! Sexy foam!”
(I make her a third drink. This time less foam and more milk.)
Customer: “You don’t get it! I want sexy foam. Really sexy foam!”
Me: *giving up* “I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!”
Stupid Bosses
So yeah…I started working in this place just over a year ago and right out of college. I was late getting my degree and had worked in the non-profit sector for years and years, so this job looked great to me not only because of the pay (it pays very well, I’ll give it that), but also because I was guaranteed a work schedule that would accommodate further education. The catch? I had to work a very nontraditional schedule for a few months, six months max, and I would need to work in other departments as needed until my department was fully ready.
Stupid Customers
Customer: “Can you tell me how to get to Mount Desert Island?”
Me: “Ma’am, we’re on Mount Desert Island right now.”
Customer: “But, can you drive there?”
Me: “… Yes… remember that bridge you had to cross to get here?”
Customer: “Yeah.”
Me: “Okay, just head back that way, and when you cross the bridge, make a u-turn and come back.”
Customer’s husband: *laughs*