Stupid Customers

(I worked for the online customer service branch of a major department store, answering questions via “live help”. The store had many older customers who would often have trouble shopping online. The following is an online conversation I had.)

Customer: “Your site won’t let me get through!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Could you tell me what part of the site you were having an issue with?”

Customer: “It keeps telling me that I have the wrong password. I have my password!”

(I look up her password and use it on the site to make sure it

works.)

Me: “I have tested your password and it appears to be working. Would you like me to send you an e-mail with a copy of your password?”

Customer: “NO! I have my password! It says it right here on the screen, and I typed it just like it says.”

Me: *slightly confused as to why the customer’s password would be displayed* “What password do you see on the screen?”

Customer: “cAsE sEnsitIve! I typed it the exact way that it says here! ‘Your password is cAsE sEnsitIve’!”

Stupid CoWorkers

Well you know how “they” say friends and business don’t mix? “They” couldn’t have been more right… i’ve had this job for around two years now and i am a hardworker. There are only three workers here including myself. The job itself isn’t demanding at all… we have a lot of downtime and nearly no rules as far as how we spend our downtime other than stay at work. My boss was promoted into his position only because the previous manager had found a better gig and moved up in the world… this new boss is in NO WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM, a leader. He has about nine years invested in the company and has no professionalism, mouth like a toilet, and can’t form sentences without using slang… AND whats even worse is that he types the way he speaks as well… (he asked me how to spell think…. THINK!!!) Anyway, after he had been moved up we needed to fill in the ranks from my previous manager leaving us. Knowing that a friend of mine was out of a job for a little while and in need of help i told him to come in for an interview. He put on his happy face and silverlined bullshit tongue and got the position. I thought to myself this is gonna be fun working with a friend, having someone on my “side” when times get boring around here… BOY was i wrong. We carpool to save gas, but got headaches and lateness in return… he always needs to get coffee, donuts, and 2 pack of cigarettes on the way to work… reading this you would think it can’t get worse, but it does… he was a hardworker at first, but the moment he got comfortable the true colors begin to show. He takes lunch breaks that could outlast a sniper out at war, he bitches and moans when he has to do his job, he proceeds to bitch and moan when asked to help with other duties, he gets aggressive over the phone with customers when they ask him things he doesn’t comprehend, starts arguements with people at a neighboring company (we share the building with a delivery service), i know he can read the sign that says NO SMOKING INDOORS, but i guess it doesn’t apply to him, the list goes on so i’ll keep this from being a novel… So i raise my cup of hot chocolate to toast to all the ungrateful scumbag friends that abuse the good nature of their so called friends and brush work off to friends thinking shit will always be cool… Grow the f**k up children… this may sound horrible, but i can’t wait til my friend gets fired and is out of my hair… P.S. at the least, carpooling and lateness ends here with the submitting of this RETARDED COWORKER story.

Stupid Bosses

What scumbags, laid people off with up to 10 years seniority just before Christmas. Going to consolidate their freight to other storage facilities, work people harder, pay them the same and continue to crap all over them! What happened to me? Go laid off, got called back, worked for 2 days, oops from managers “Sorry, we made a mistake, your laid off again”! After 2 days, coming back and working these shitheads fire us again. Merry *&$*#@ Christmas.

Stupid Customers

Me: “Thank you for calling ****. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I ordered some food and I need a refund.”

Me: “Of course – can you please explain what the matter with your food was?”

Customer: “Well, I drove it home and put it on the counter. My husband asked me to help him rake up some leaves. When I got back in, the dog had gotten up on the counter and eaten everything.”

Me: “You want me to replace the food your dog ate?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “…”