Web designer: I need you to print out 65 of those PowerPoint presentations I created.
Graphic designer: How many?
Web designer: 65.
Graphic designer: Okay. Let me write this down. I’m not good at math.
Stupid Customers
Me: “Hi, can I take your order?”
Drive-thru customer: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
Me: “Can I take your order?”
Drive-thru customer: “I know, I heard you. But why would you ask that question like that?”
Me: “Um, I need to know what food to have prepared for you.”
Drive-thru customer: “Don’t get smart with me! I heard what you said, and I would prefer it if you’d word your sentence differently.”
Me: “Oh, okay. May I take your order?”
Drive-thru customer: “That’s better! Yes, you may!”
Me: “Okay, what would you like?”
Drive-thru customer: “I’m not sure yet. Give me a minute!”
Stupid CoWorkers
WHY DO PEOPLE EVER FAIL TO FLUSH THE TOILET AT WORK!?!?!?!
I go into the bathroom yesterday and the middle of our three stalls is COMPLETELY FULL OF POO. I am NOT exaggerating. POO. And some toilet paper. Now, a few questions come to mind immediately. Why did the owner of the poo not do a mid-poo flush? Why did he not do a POST-poo flush?? Why did he wait so long to poo that he had that much poo in him? Why was he in the middle stall? Did he suddenly get an urgent message on his blackberry and have to leave so quickly that he didn’t have time to do the post-poo? Or is he just a sadist?
Furthermore, why do this AT WORK?? Everybody knows everybody at work. There is so much risk of geting caught, as to make it completely ludicrous to even think about attempting such a heist. If I ever catch someone doing that, they are going to hear about it. I will not be polite.
Anyways, long story short, the stench in the bathroom was so vile that I had no choice but to find another bathroom at the other end of the building. You know how that is, when you are in an unfamiliar bathroom. No fun. Ruined my morning today.
Stupid Customers
Customer: I would like to buy this box of condoms, but I want to know if I can return them if they don’t work.
Cashier: What do you mean “if they don’t work?”
Customer: You know! If I get pregnant!