Manager, walking past slouching intern: Bad posture ages you.
Intern: It’s just I’m not used to this desk thing. Usually I do all my work in bed.
Manager: Don’t put that on your resume.
Stupid Customers
(At the fast food restaurant where I work, we’ve just introduced a burger that is very large. Three customers come into the store…)
Customer #1: “Can I get that new burger?”
Me: “Sure, would you like anything else?”
Customer #2: “Oh my God! You’re getting the new burger?!”
Customer #1: “Yeah!”
Customer #2, to me: “Hey, would that burger fit in my mouth?” *opens his mouth wide*
Me: “No, sir. I seriously believe it won’t.”
Customer #2: “What about now?” *opens bigger*
Me: “No, sir.”
Customer #2: “NOW?” *opens it as large as he possibly can*
Me: “No.”
Customer #3: “I apologise for his small mouth.” *hits the second customer on the head*
Me: “That’s okay.”
Customer #3: “So, would it fit in mine?” *opens mouth*
Me: “No it won’t, sir…”
Stupid Criminals
Authorities said a 31-year-old Detroit man who was stranded at a southeast Michigan hospital face charges after he stole an ambulance. Police said the man stole the ambulance from the St. John River District Hospital in St. Clair County’s East China Township on Saturday night after people inside the facility refused to give him a ride to St. Clair where his vehicle was located.
Michigan State Police Sgt. Craig Nyeholt told The Times Herald in Port Huron that the man fled in an ambulance left idling outside the emergency room entrance, but was arrested a short time later.
Police have not identified the man, who was expected to be arraigned Monday.
No further details were released.
Stupid Things Overheard
Store manager to employee: Can you tighten your ballbag, please? I want all ballbags to be tight.
(customers start giggling and laughing)
Store manager: Come on, guys, we’re in a sports store–the word “ballbag” isn’t funny here!