Coworker on phone: Look, she’s not my girlfriend, she’s just my roommate–you can’t evict me because she is walking around outside the apartment with no pants on. Okay, I’ll come try to get her to put her pants back on.
Stupid CoWorkers
Coworker #1: I bought my first iPhone app while on vacation. It’s called Ragdoll Blaster. It’s pretty good.
Coworker #2: You bought an app called Rectal Blaster?
Coworker #1: Ah, it’s good to be back.
Stupid Customers
(A man claiming to be our hotel guest’s boss calls our front desk several times, claiming that the guest won’t return his calls. I ring the hotel guest to let her know the situation.)
Me: “Hello! I received a few phone calls from a Mr. *** asking you to call him back immediately.”
Hotel guest: “Oh, Mr. ***? I don’t know a Mr. ****.”
Me: “Oh, okay. I’m sorry to bother you. I will ask him to stop calling.”
Hotel guest: “Well, what was his name again?”
Me: “Mr. ***.”
Hotel guest: “Was he tall?”
Me: “Ma’am, he was on the phone.”
Hotel guest: “You didn’t notice if he was tall or not? That doesn’t help me at all.”
Me: “Very sorry, ma’am. I will try to get a better look at him next time he calls.”
Hotel guest: “Thank you so much dear!” *hangs up*
Stupid CoWorkers
Woman carrying heavy files: I need to go down to the branch and drop this off.
Man: Hello–I can help you carry that.
Woman: Aww! You had me at “hello”!
Man: You had me at “go down”!