Peon #1: Hey, boss, there is a water leak up on the second floor.
Boss: Well, let’s get up there and check it out.
Peon #2: So there’s a leak in the roof, huh?
Peon #1: Yeah, but the good thing is: it only leaks when it rains!
Stupid CoWorkers
Office hottie, after office creepster has poked her: Ouch! What was that for?
Office creepster: I just always wondered what it’d be like to poke you.
Office hottie: Oh. It didn’t do much for me. How was it for you?
Office creepster: Fucking magic!
Stupid Customers
Customer: “How much is this bird?”
Me: “Sir, how did you get the bird out of the cage? The cage was locked.”
Customer: “Oh, I got this one from the birds you have outside by the door.”
Me: “Those aren’t our birds.”
Customer: “What?”
Me: “Sir, you picked up a wild bird. But congratulations, because I can’t imagine it was a simple task.”