Stupid Things Overheard

May 7, 2010

Adviser: Okay, is everyone here? Great. So, John*, why don’t you tell us what you’ve worked on this week?

John: Well, I did…

Adviser, interrupting: Actually, John, I’m just going to hummer you for a minute while I show them the data.

Female grad student: Um, what?

Adviser: I’m going to hummer him and just show everyone this, you know, like run over him like a big fucking car.

Female grad student: Uh, okay, but you can’t say that.

Adviser: What? Why?

Female grad student: I’ll tell you after lab meeting.

Adviser, angrily: What is so bad about saying that? Is it like mean or something to “hummer” someone?

Female grad student: Well it’s not mean, it’s just… Yeah, don’t say that. Ever. We’ll talk later.

Stupid Things Overheard
meeting

Stupid CoWorkers

May 4, 2010

Oblivious female office worker: I really like getting adjusted. Some people say it hurts, but to me it feels so good! A good release of tension.

Male office worker: “Adjusted.” Is that what they call it now?

Oblivious female office worker: Yep, it has many names. I see my chiropractor for an adjustment two or three times a week.

Stupid CoWorkers
call, office

May 1, 2010

Cricket Prank – Infesting Your Coworker’s Truck

Stupid CoWorkers

April 29, 2010

(I have a sticker on my car that reads “Caution: Driver Singing”. I pulled up into work when a customer tapped me on the shoulder.)

Customer: “Hey.”

Me: “Um, hi?”

Customer: “I thought so! You’re that girl with the singing bumper sticker, aren’t you?”

Me: “Oh! Yes, I am.”

Customer: “I passed you in the parking lot at yesterday. You weren’t singing.”

Me: “Oh, well, I’ve had a sore throat.”

Customer: *completely serious* “You should always be singing, you know.”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “In a car like that, you should always be singing so your sticker doesn’t lie!”

Me: “Well, the other day when you passed me? I was humming.”

Customer: *perfectly happy again* “Oh, really? Well, that’s alright then!”

Stupid Customers
work