Marketing girl: I also want to know why my salad tastes like bacon.
CSR: Maybe bacon bits are in it?
Marketing girl: Nope, I made it myself… My croutons taste like bacon.
CSR: Is that a come-on?
Stupid Customers
This exchange took place at the HMV where I used to work:
Me: Hi, what can I help you with?
Customer: Oh! Your name is French, do you speak French?
Me: No, my parents just really liked the name.
Customer: So you’re not French?
Me: No, I’m not – so what can I help you with?
Customer: I can’t believe you’re not French! You have a French name and you don’t speak the language?! Canadians are KNOWN for speaking BOTH official languages; English and FRENCH. You are a terrible Canadian!
Me: Hmm. I always thought we Canadians were known for being polite, so I guess you’re not a good Canadian either!
Customer: Well, I am never coming back here again!
Me: Yay!
Stupid Customers
(I have just completed a transaction and given the customer their coffee.)
Me: “Have a great day!”
Customer: “What did you say to me?”
Me: “I said have a great day.”
Customer: “Well, that’s impossible. I am an English teacher. It’s impossible to have a great day. Something will always go wrong to prevent ‘great’ from being the correct adjective to describe ‘day’. I find you wishing me the impossible insulting.”
Me: “Have a decent day?”
Customer: “Thank you.”
(The customer sits down to eat near the register and opens a book. Another customer orders and pays.)
Me: “Have a great day!”
Original Customer: “I heard that!”