(I’m working at a restaurant and the bill has a 15% gratuity included for a large party.)
Customer: “Miss? What’s this ‘gravity’ sh*t?! I ain’t paying for no freakin ‘gravity!’”
Me: “Ma’am, that’s what holds the food to your plate.”
Customer: “Oh, alright then.” *pays the check*
Female employee: Are you busy? Do you have a sec?
Male employee, distractedly: Sure, I have lots of secs. (looks up, realizes what he just said) Go away and come back and start this conversation over again, please.
Female employee: Excuse me, but do you have a moment?
Office worker #1: It’s supposed to storm…
Office worker #2: Yes, at six.
Office worker #1: But not till after six, right?
Office worker #2: The storm is scheduled for 6:05.