Coworker #1 in elevator: You know Dave*, in credit? I think he’s kind of cute.
Coworker #2: Yeah. But I think he’s gay.
Coworker #1: Uh-huh, I thought maybe.
Coworker #3:, freezingly: Dave is my husband.
Stupid CoWorkers
Female coworker #1: Is that a cucumber you just pulled out of your desk?
Female coworker #2: Yeah, Connie gave it to me yesterday. So watch out: today is “beat people with a cucumber day”, so if you piss me off I’m gonna hit you with this cucumber.
Female coworker #1: Wait… Why did Connie give you a cucumber?
Female coworker #2: She had it at her desk yesterday and was having some fun with it. Then she got tired of it, so she gave it to me.
Stupid CoWorkers
CoWorker #1: You should try some breathing exercises to help you sleep.
CoWorker #2: Did you just say “breeding exercises”?
CoWorker #1: Well, if you think that would work better…
Stupid CoWorkers
Boss to Female CoWorker: Hey, did you get all that done?
Female CoWorker: Yep, just finished.
Boss: Wow! You da man! I mean… You’re not a man… But you da man! You da equivalent of da man!
Female CoWorker: Uh… Okay.
Boss, with no enthusiasm: You da man…(walks away)