Coworker said: In the winter time when my computer is running slow, I have to let it warm up first
before I use it”
Stupid Customers
Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”
Customer: “My iPhone doesn’t work, and those dumbasses in the phone department couldn’t help me.”
Me: “May I take a look?”
Customer: “Here it is. It won’t make phone calls.” *hands it to me*
Me: “Ma’am, this is an iPod Touch.”
Customer: “That’s exactly what that dumbass in the phone department told me. God, are all you people stupid?! iPods look like this!” *holds up an iPod Classic*
Me: “That’s an iPod Classic. These are the new touch screen ones. May I see the box it came in?”
Customer: “What? Here, fine.” *hands me the box*
Me: “Ma’am, can you read this to me please?”
(I flip the box to where the label clearly says iPod.)
Customer: “What, are you blind too?! It says iP-…oh. Oh! Well, don’t I feel like a b****.” *walks off*
Next custom
Stupid Customers
(I’m stocking the shelf at one end of an aisle. A customer enters at the far end by the milk and is coughing)
Customer: *coughs*
(I briefly glance over. She’s staring at milk.)
Customer: *coughs again*
(There’s a long pause. She’s still staring at milk.)
Customer: *loud coughing*
(I turn to see if she is covering her mouth, but instead see her charging down the aisle at me.)
Customer: “What is wrong with you?! I’ve been coughing to get your attention down there for five minutes! ”
Me: “Ma’am, I glanced over at you several times. You never looked at me.”
Customer: “Oh, yes I did! What does a person have to do here, fall on the floor and have a seizure to get some milk?!”
Stupid Things Overheard
Female coworker, returning from bathroom: I peeked in the crack a little to see if it was occupied, and I accidentally saw vagina.
Male coworker: Accidental vagina is why I failed my freshman year of college.