Customer: “Your escalators are broken.”
Security: “What do you mean by broken?”
Customer: “They aren’t moving.”
Security: “Okay. Which one is it?”
(The customer leads the security guard to the “escalator” and stands on the top step.)
Customer: “See, broken.”
Security: “Sir, those are stairs.”
——-
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Male CoWorker to female CoWorker: Wow! Nice throw, Sally! That was great!
Female CoWorker: (silent stare)
Male CoWorker to other coworkers: Did you guys see that? Sally just got her shot in the bin from four desks away!
Other CoWorker: (silent stares)
Female CoWorker, shouting: My name is Claire, you asshole! I’ve been sitting next to you for six months and you still don’t know my name! I hate this fucking place so much!
Openly Gay CoWorker to IT Girl: Have you lost weight?
IT girl: Hahahaha, no, but I will totally have your babies now that you’ve said that.
Coworker #1: You ever fucked a girl so hard she bled?
Coworker #2: Nah, but I’ve seen it.
Coworker #1: You’ve seen it?!
Coworker #2: Yeah, I walked in on my mate and this girl.
Coworker #1: And you stayed around long enough to see that she was bleeding?!
Coworker #2: Well, it was my turn next.