Barista: What can I get you, sir?
Customer: I’ll have a grande toffee…
Barista: I’m sorry, sir, we do not have any toffee items in the shop any more.
Customer: Then I’ll just have a large broken dream.
Stupid CoWorkers
IT guy: And you can help with setting up the sites, too.
Super-cute admin assistant: Okay.
Office manager, walking in: What’s going on?
IT guy: I was just telling her that she could help me out this year if she wanted to.
Office manager: Oh yeah, she’s an untapped resource.
IT guy, after pause: I’d tap that.
Stupid Customers
Customer: *holding a bottle of wine* “Are you old enough to sell me this?”
Me: “Yes, I am.”
(I reach out to take the bottle, but he refuses to hand it to me.)
Customer: “Are you sure that you’re old enough?”
Me: “Yes. I wouldn’t be a cashier otherwise. I’m pretty sure you only have to be eighteen.”
Customer: “Are you eighteen?”
Me: “Nineteen, yes. Would you like me to sell you it?”
(The customer finally releases his hold on the wine. I begin to scan.)
Customer: “Are you sure you’re allowed to? You look pretty young.”
Me: “I’m old enough.”
Customer: “Do I get a discount for calling you young?”
Stupid CoWorkers
Chubby CoWorker to young girl: Your hat is so cute! My niece would love it. Where did you get it?
Young girl in beaded hat: Limited Too!
Chubby CoWorker, after girl has left: I don’t have a niece. I will have that hat!