Stupid Tech Support
Customer: “My computer won’t work. You guys must have broken it when you installed the modem.”
Tech Support: “What happens when you turn it on?”
Customer: “It won’t turn on anymore!!!!!”
Tech Support: “So you don’t see any lights or hear any noise?”
Customer: “I’m telling you it WON’T TURN ON.”
Tech Support: “Is it plugged in?
Customer: “OF COURSE it’s plugged in, you MORON!”
Tech Support: “When you push the power button it–”
Customer: “Power button? This computer doesn’t have a power button.”
Tech Support: “Sir, all computers have power buttons. Look at the front of the case, find the word ‘power,’ and push the button.”
Customer: “YOU FIXED IT!! Thanks!!!!”
Stupid Tech Support
I worked with an individual who plugged his power strip back into itself and for the life of him could not understand why his system would not turn on.
Stupid Criminals
Drug-possession defendant Christopher Johns, on trial in
March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched
without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer
didn’t need a warrant because a “bulge” in Christopher’s
jacket could have been a gun. Nonsense, said Christopher,
who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in
court. He handed it over so the judge could see it.
The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket
and laughed so hard he required a five-minute recess to
compose himself.