A new technician was sent into the field to install a new video card. About the time they began to wonder if something was wrong, the technician called in. “I have the monitor apart, I just can’t figure out where to install the video card.”
Stupid Tech Support
Tech Support: “Please click on the ‘start’ button.”
Customer: “What ‘start’ button?”
Tech Support: “In the lower left hand corner there is a button that says ‘start’.”
Customer: “There is no button.”
Tech Support: “You are using Windows NT?”
Customer: “Yes. The button is on the right hand side, and there is a little green light next to it. You want me to push that?”
Tech Support: “No sir, that’s the power button. Is there a gray bar across the bottom of the screen with buttons on it?”
Customer: “There is no gray bar. It is white, and it opens, and there are buttons inside.”
Tech Support: “No. Sir, on the TV part of the monitor is there a gray bar that you can point at with the mouse, using the cursor that is on the screen.”
Customer: “There are some dials. There is one that has a picture of a sun on it, but I don’t have any idea what those are for.”
Stupid Tech Support
Me: “How much RAM do you have?”
Friend: “Not that much; I own an old computer. I guess about 4 gigabytes.”
Me: “Uhuh, and what kind of CPU?”
Friend: “32 megabytes.”
Stupid Roommates
One evening, my roommate was telling me a story about one of our former roommates. Apparently they ordered pizza and cheese bread one night. The former roommate was enjoying the meal, when all of a sudden he yelled…..”This cheese bread is nothing but cheese and bread!!!”