Stupid Laws

Stupid Laws in California

Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.Bathhouses are against the law.

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Bathhouses are against the law.

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It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.

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Women may not drive in a house coat.

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No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.

Stupid Things Overheard

Lady on cell: Trust me, this is the one time you can pee on a woman and not totally demean her.

Stupid CoWorkers

“I worked as a head of an IT department in a smaller insurance company. I’ve worked there only part time, or as needed (the team consisted of 2 people :)). I was about 22 at that time. We had this “game” we played with my collegue, and a good friend – once in a while I’d tell him after, say, he came back from lunch – “Joseph, such and such called, you’re supposed to go to him/her immediately, he has some problem…” and off he went ..and came back like “You moron! :))” So I teased him quite a lot like this. As we did this more and more, we went to higher positions – like President of the company called, head of such and such department called etc.. Of course you never got to talk to the real bosses – only to their secretaries to find out that…no, they didn’t call you.

ONE DAY THOUGH, I came back from lunch and he tells me – vice-president’s secretary called, that the vice president needs to discuss this and that with you (he made up something pretty believable). So I went and thought – if she hadn’t called, the secretary will tell me. I came to the big boss’ place and the secretary was on the phone and just waived at me like “Alright, go on the vice-presidents office” or just maybe she meant “No, dont’ go, they have a meeting and I didnt’ call you!”. Anyways – I went in. There was a meeting there with the bosses of all departments – there were like 5 people, in a fairly small office, all siting in front of this big boss’ desk. They were discussing something..so I took a chair from accross the room and sat down and listened and took notes for like 5 minutes. Then the vice-president interupted the speaker and she asked – “Yes Daniel, what can we do for you?” I was like – I dont’ know…tell me, what I can do for you.. and she just looked for a second at me ..and then it hit me…DAMN it – she didnt’ call me

It wasn’t all that funny then, but now I get a great laugh from this story.”

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Stupid Salespeople

I recently purchased a new PC from one of the major computer manufacturers. I placed my order via the web but asked for them to call me for my credit card information. So, after a couple days of phone tag, I got in touch with the saleswoman handling my account. I was thinking I’d just give her my credit card number and be on my way. Almost.

Saleswoman: “Do you realize that the modem you’ve chosen doesn’t have sound support?”

Customer: “What exactly does a ‘modem with no sound support’ mean?”

Saleswoman: “It means that if you go to a web page that has a movie or sound file, you won’t be able to hear it.”

Customer: “What does the modem have to do with that?”

Saleswoman: “Well, sir, the modem is what connects your computer to the Internet.”

Customer: “So, you’re telling me that this particular modem scans the TCP/IP packets passing through it for those belonging to any sound application and filters them out?”

Saleswoman: “Yes.”

Customer: “How does it accomplish this feat?”

Saleswoman: “I’m not technical enough to answer that. Please hold.”

I stayed on hold for five minutes and hung up.

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