I’m in the middle of a remodel and 2-room addition at home, which, if you’ve been through one, is akin to walking through the Gates of Hell. I asked for this Friday afternoon off so I could be home to let in the carpet cleaners and linoleum layers. My supervisor said that would only leave 3 people at work, so, no, I couldn’t. So far this week, we have only had 3 people at work every day. Evidently it’s only a problem when I need the time off
Preschool girl: Mom, can we go to that restaurant? I’m so hungry!
Mom: No, we’re almost home.
Preschool girl: But Mom! I’m so hungry I just drank my own spit!
I worked as a computer tech for an insurance company. One day I received a call from supervisor on the sales floor.
Me: “Hello, IT.”
Supervisor: “Hello?”
Me: “Hello?”
Supervisor: “Hello?”
Me: “Hello?”
The phone went dead. I put the phone down, and it rang again.
Me: “Hello, IT.”
Supervisor: “Hello, did you just ring me?”
Me: “No you rang me.”
Supervisor: “Did I? Oh, well, the reason I’m ringing now is because you couldn’t hear me when I rang you before.”
Me: “Yes I could.”
Supervisor: “No you couldn’t.”
Me: “Yes I could.”
Supervisor: “No you couldn’t.”
Me: “Believe me, I could.”
Supervisor: “Can you hear me now?”
Me: “Yes, of course I can.”
Supervisor: “Oh, that’s all right then. Catch you later.”
Overheard in a high school classroom after a presentation on nuclear proliferation…
Student A: “So, if we had a nuclear war, we would have nuclear winter and we’d all die?”
Presenter: “Yeah. If Russia and the U.S. had gone to war, we all could have died. It would take 400 nuclear explosions to produce enough debris to block out the sun.”
Student B: “So, how many nuclear winters have we had?”
Presenter: Dumbfounded silence at stupidity of classmate. “Ummm….none….”