Me: “Hi, can I help you find anything today?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for a book.”

Me: “Great–any book in particular, or a specific genre? We’ve got a large selection, and are able to order almost any book from our warehouse if we don’t have it in stock.”

Customer: “I just saw it on TV this morning, and I knew it would change my life.”

Me: “Uh…ok, was it on Oprah?”

Customer: “No, it was on that other show.”

Me: “Okay, do you remember the title or author?”

Customer: “NO! IT WAS ON THE TV!”

Me: “It’s very difficult to look for a book without a title or author. Do you remember what it was about? Was it a religious book? We might be able to search the shelves.”

Customer: “IT WAS ON THE TV THIS MORNING! GEEZ!”

Me: “I understand that, ma’am. Can you give me anything that might help me help you find the book?”

Customer: “Where is the book? I’d know it if I saw it. It’s got a red cover.”

Me: “Well–tell you what. I’m not able to help you find it today, but feel free to look around.”

Customer: “Why can’t you help me? IT WAS ON TV! DON’T YOU PEOPLE WATCH TV?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I work in a bookstore. I like to READ.”

Customer: “FINE! I’LL GO SOMEWHERE WHERE THEY KNOW WHAT I WANT!”

(The customer storms off as my manager comes out and tells me she’s glad that I handled that; we both break into laughter.)