Stupid Customers

October 5, 2008

(I’m a liquor store owner. A teenager grabs a couple of beer bottles and proceeds to the counter to purchase the beer.)

Me: “May I see your ID?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “I don’t sell alcohol to people without IDs.”

Customer: “But I’m 18! I’m allowed to buy beer!”

Me: “Sorry, but its the law. No ID, no beer.”

Customer: “F*** you! F*** this government! Can’t a man just buy and enjoy their beer anymore?”

Me: “Look, all you have to do is flash your ID and you can buy all the beer you want. Now, can I see your d*** ID?”

Customer: “No, you listen to me! I didn’t drive all the way here to be treated like this. Back then, trust was enough to keep things rolling, but now everyone thinks everyone is a liar! This country is a F***ING dump! Do I look 12 to you? I’m telling you, I’m 18 and I’m allowed to buy beer, and…” *rants on and on*

Me: “Get out of my store.”

Customer: “Excuse me?!”

Me: “Oh I’m sorry. Where are my manners? Get the F*** out of my store!”

Customer: “I’m never coming here again!”

Me: “Now you’re getting the idea!”

Stupid Customers

Stupid Bosses

October 1, 2008

my boss is a bitch, bitch bitch. she is into the 8th week of ignoring me now, only speaking if it is vital and then to put me down or make me look like a t**t. she bullies people over and over and if they complain she lies and twists and makes it all their fault. she has driven at least 8 people away from the job, as they were unable to work with the cow and you wouldn’t mind if she could do her job , but no, she muddles through it and then blames yours truly when things go wrong. i am not an unreasonable woman and i tried to talk to her about this but she blamed it on other people, and said they had told her stuff about me . get a fu***** grip woman, you are the manager, why are you listening to gossip? this woman is a born liar. she could win the gold medal for it if it were an Olympic sport, and when you catchy her out she lies again to cover the first lie. i wish she would leave, or get long term sick or win the lottery and retire. she is a dried up old spinster with no life but the workplace and she is DRIVING ME NUTS. thank you for listening . goodnight. yes i feel better for that.

Stupid Bosses
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Stupid Customers

September 28, 2008

Me: “What can I get you to drink, sir?”

Hospital patient: “Coffee.”

Me: “Well, it looks like you’re on a Cardiac diet, which means you can’t have caffeine.

Hospital patient: “You asked me what I wanted, and I want coffee.”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, I can’t give it to you.”

Hospital patient: “This is ridiculous! I’ve been drinking coffee every morning for the last sixty years. I want my coffee!”

Me: “Sir. You are on a CARDIAC diet. That means that you can’t have caffeine, or extra sodium, or fat. It could make your condition worse.”

Hospital patient: *tries to pull a fast one* “My doctor told me I could have it.”

Me: “Well, your doctor needs to put it into our computer, otherwise I could lose my job.”

Hospital patient: “MY DOCTOR SAID I COULD HAVE IT!”

Me: “Sir, I know you’re lying. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be on this diet.”

Hospital patient: “GIVE ME THE F***ING COFFEE!”

Me: *loses patience* “DO YOU WANT THE COFFEE OR DO YOU WANT TO LIVE?!”

Hospital patient: *sheepishly* “Can I have apple juice?”

Stupid Customers
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Stupid CoWorkers

September 26, 2008

I am a 23 year old ESL teacher living and working in Japan. Here is my story. . .

Fcking hell! I have just had the worst day to end all worst days! I am soooo angry every second word that comes out of my mouth is FCKING, so please forgive me if I over do the cuss words just a little.

This is all thanks to one person…

Let me start of by telling you about this person. She is a Japanese woman who works as my co teacher at one of the schools I work at. I have known her for about seven months now and have tried my best to put up with her snake grin and false smile but today was the end. It would be impossible for me to write about even half of this woman`s personality disorder or how it has been displayed over the months I have known her, partly because I have forgotten half and partly because what I do remember would be too long for even the longest of Emails. She has drove me round the bend with her mood swings and constant up-and-down behaviour. One minute she will be falling asleep, the next she will be on her feet shouting at the kids in some insane crazy woman attempted to motivate them that just does not work….

Stupid CoWorkers
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