(I work in email and chat tech support, so one day, an email comes in.)
“Hello Miss Sir,
Please send me new one. My wife’s has defected.
Boris”
——-
“Dear Boris,
Thanks for contacting us. If your wife’s mp3 player is defective, we will be happy to replace it. Please respond with more details on the problem. If you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to contact us.”
Sincerely,
[Me]”
——–
“Hello Miss,
Yes, send new one. My wife’s has defecated.”
I work in a business office that has control freakin fools in charge. Although the dress code is not strict, for some reason the fools in charge decided to go ballistic about what constitutes a sandal. One of the employees wore white sandals one day that had a strap between her toes. A big, huge deal was made as to whether this was considered a flip flop or a sandal. One of the supervisors actually made her walk to see if it made a ‘flip-flop’ sound! This turned into a big meeting and the next day a memo was sent out to the entire company banning any type of shoes that went between the toes or made a ‘flip-flop’ sound. How ridiculous is this? You would think there would be more important things to do! What a bunch of freakin control freaks!
They go through employees like a hooker goes through “johns”. Pretty soon they’re gonna run out of people on this island to hire. In the islands, a lot of advertising is done via word of mouth. I’ve been here 2 years and I’ve seen at least 50 people come and go. Some people dont even come back after their lunch on the first day. They benefits suck. They treat you like robots. Cause they want first blood. Not hard work and good attitudes.
(Sometimes I get very bored at work and decide to have fun with customers.)
Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”
Customer: “My computer isn’t working at all. It seems that something is wrong with it.”
Me: “Okay, let me see what I can do…”
(I place my hands on the computer and in my best imitation of a televangelist.)
Me: “IT IS HEALED! PRAISE THE LORD!”
Customer: “Oh my God, really? Are you serious?! Thank you!”
Me: “No, no I’m not.”
Customer: *completely baffled*
Me: “I hate my life.”