Barista: What can I get you, sir?
Customer: I’ll have a grande toffee…
Barista: I’m sorry, sir, we do not have any toffee items in the shop any more.
Customer: Then I’ll just have a large broken dream.
Stupid CoWorkers
IT guy: And you can help with setting up the sites, too.
Super-cute admin assistant: Okay.
Office manager, walking in: What’s going on?
IT guy: I was just telling her that she could help me out this year if she wanted to.
Office manager: Oh yeah, she’s an untapped resource.
IT guy, after pause: I’d tap that.
Stupid CoWorkers
Chubby CoWorker to young girl: Your hat is so cute! My niece would love it. Where did you get it?
Young girl in beaded hat: Limited Too!
Chubby CoWorker, after girl has left: I don’t have a niece. I will have that hat!
Stupid CoWorkers
Male CoWorker to female CoWorker: Wow! Nice throw, Sally! That was great!
Female CoWorker: (silent stare)
Male CoWorker to other coworkers: Did you guys see that? Sally just got her shot in the bin from four desks away!
Other CoWorker: (silent stares)
Female CoWorker, shouting: My name is Claire, you asshole! I’ve been sitting next to you for six months and you still don’t know my name! I hate this fucking place so much!