Essay question: “How does the work of scientists affect your life today?”
Student’s answer: “For real I would go crazy without my iTouch or my Sidekick. Like I’m really thankful for scientists… Like what if Thomas Edison hadn’t gone outside and got hit by lightning when he was flying his kite with a key on it… We would not have electricity without him testing his invention.”
(at a buffet-style restaurant where customers line up for the food.)
Manager: “Can you go refill the napkins? We’re all out.”
Me: “Sure.”
(I walk over to the line wearing my work uniform and my ID card prominently displayed.)
Me: “Excuse me, I just need to refill the napkins.”
Customer: “No problem.”
Customer #2: “Why the f*** does everyone keep cutting the line?”
Me: “Sir, I work here. I am just refilling the napkins.”
Customer #2: “Well, that is no excuse! If you work here, you should know to wait your turn!”
Me: “Hello, what can I do for you?”
Customer: “I want to take out a loan.”
Me: “I am sorry, what do you mean?”
Customer: “I want to take out a big loan so I can play and maybe buy a car.”
Me: “This isn’t a bank, sir. This is a casino. We don’t do that.”
Customer: “This can’t be. I know your company has loads of money. I want to borrow some. I will pay the tax or whatever.”
Me: “Sir, we don’t do loans. This isn’t a bank.”
Customer: “This is bulls***! Money is money. What’s the difference if I borrow here or at the bank? I will pay it back. So what difference does it make? Don’t argue with me!”
(I press the red button under my desk to call security.)
Me: “A gentleman will be here in a second to work things out with you and your loan. Good day!”
Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”
Customer: “My iPhone doesn’t work, and those dumbasses in the phone department couldn’t help me.”
Me: “May I take a look?”
Customer: “Here it is. It won’t make phone calls.” *hands it to me*
Me: “Ma’am, this is an iPod Touch.”
Customer: “That’s exactly what that dumbass in the phone department told me. God, are all you people stupid?! iPods look like this!” *holds up an iPod Classic*
Me: “That’s an iPod Classic. These are the new touch screen ones. May I see the box it came in?”
Customer: “What? Here, fine.” *hands me the box*
Me: “Ma’am, can you read this to me please?”
(I flip the box to where the label clearly says iPod.)
Customer: “What, are you blind too?! It says iP-…oh. Oh! Well, don’t I feel like a b****.” *walks off*
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