Stupid Criminals

PARIS – What’s a television without its remote control? Not much, decided a thief in southwestern France who returned to the home from which he had just stolen a TV to pick up the remote control — and was arrested.

The man robbed a retiree’s house in the village of Mussidan, taking the TV set and some hunting rifles, police said. While the owner was reporting the theft at the local police station, the thief returned.

Alert neighbors tipped off the police and they caught the man red-handed.

“He came back to take the remote control,” a local police spokesman said. “I guess there’s daring and there’s stupid.”

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Stupid Customers

Customer: “Well, I just want to know if I load this disk into my computer, won’t other people be able to get into my computer and access everything I have in there?”

Tech Support: “No, that’s not possible.”

Customer: “You see it on the TV all the time.”

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Stupid Customers

One day a customer called complaining that he just received his computer, but it won’t turn on. When he first pushed the power button, the screen flashed and then everything died.

I couldn’t do much over the phone, so I went to the customer’s office. It was plugged in, everything was hooked up ok, but, sure enough, it refused to turn on. I decided to take it back and promised to deliver a new one as soon as possible. But when I went to pick it up, I couldn’t.

Fearful of thieves, the man had fired some 24 inch bolts straight through the box, through the hard drive, motherboard, everything, locking it to his desk.

“Oh,” he said, “I thought it was just the TV part that was important. Will my warranty cover this?”

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Stupid Family Members

One night my son was playing a computer game while I was watching TV. I asked him to turn the sound down, and he did. After a short while he came over to watch TV with me. Every so often I would hear the engine noise of his game. I asked him to turn off the game. He did. I was still hearing the noise and told at him to turn it off. He said he had switched off the power to the PC, but I was still hearing the engine noise about once a minute. We went over to look. Sure enough, the computer was off, but the sound was still there. We unplugged the speakers. Didn’t help. We pulled out the batteries. Didn’t help. Then I realized it was my pager that had been sitting on one of the speakers.

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