CoWorker to customer on telephone about pork recall at our business: We only were recalling pork dated March 4th through March 16th.
Customer: Mine is dated April 2nd. Can I eat it?
Phone Support Guy: Yes sir. That’s not in our recall dates.
Customer: Are you 100% sure it is safe?
Phone Support Guy: Yes sir. That pork wasn’t part of our recall.
Customer: What are the dates again?
Phone Support Guy: March 4th through March 16th.
Customer: So, it won’t kill me?
Phone Support No sir, unless you plan on throwing it on the floor, jump on it a few times, then licking it up and eating it raw.
Receptionist: Jim Smith, please come to the office, you have a telephone call.
CoWorker: You may want to speak up. Also, if he shows up, I’m getting out of here fast.
Receptionist: Why, don’t you like him?
CoWorker: No, it’s not that at all, it’s just that he’s been dead for over a year.
(I am a telephone operator for a large insurance company that has thousands of employees, so I need a last name to transfer people)
Caller: “Hi, can I be transferred to Mike?”
Me: “Yes, what is Mike’s last name?”
Caller: “I’m not sure, I just know his first name is Mike.”
Me: “I’m sorry, but we have hundreds of Mike’s so I would need a last name.”
Caller: “Oh, I see. Well, I’ll just call him and get his last name, then.”
Me: “Okay, but if you have his direct number, why were you calling me in the first place?”
Caller: *hangs up*
Customer: “Hi, I need you to fax something for me.”
Me: “Okay, we actually have a self-serve fax machine right over here.”
(I point to it as I walk over to it from my side of the counter.)
Customer: “But I don’t know how to fax.”
Me: “That’s okay. I’ll show you.”
Customer: “But I’ve never used one of those before.”
Me: “That’s why I’m going to show you how to use it.”
Customer: “No, I can’t, I’m not good with computers.”
Me: “Then you’re in luck: this isn’t a computer. It’s actually just like using a telephone.”
Customer: “Here, you just do it for me.”
Customer: “But I don’t know how to use it!”
Me: “That’s why I said I would show you…”
Funny photos and tshirts are at Awzim.com